


Praetorian Guard

by barbitone



Series: Voltron Fanfiction [11]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, BAMF! Lotor, Banquets, Bathing/Washing, Bottom Shiro (Voltron), Dirty Talk, Hurt Lotor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rescue Missions, Space Battles, Top Lotor (Voltron), Torture, Violence, Whump, but like nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-15 01:53:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16924308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbitone/pseuds/barbitone
Summary: It had been two months since the failed prisoner exchange and Shiro was still furious. He’d told them it was a bad move- he’d told all of them. But they hadn’t listened to him, choosing instead to trustZarkonof all people as they practically ran to sell Lotor out, even after everything he’d done to help them.In a turn of events that no one but him had been able to predict, everything had gone wrong. Of course it had. Zarkon went back on his word, of course he did. And now they still didn’t have Sam and they didn’t have Lotor anymore either.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my lovely beta [Lutz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lutz/pseuds/lutz)\- your support is hugely appreciated!

 

* * *

 

 

It had been two months since the failed prisoner exchange and Shiro was still furious. He’d told them it was a bad move- he’d told all of them. But they hadn’t listened to him, choosing instead to trust _Zarkon_ of all people as they practically ran to sell Lotor out, even after everything he’d done to help them. Shiro wanted Sam back just as much as the rest of them, but why was he the only one to see what a huge mistake they were making?

Shiro had scrambled desperately for something, _anything_ he could do to stop this, to help. The only thing he could think of was to give Lotor his bayard but after the way he’d stood up for him- the way he’d been the only one to stand up for him- the others started keeping a closer eye on him and there was no way he could manage it. He offered to take Lotor to the exchange in the Black Lion as a last ditch effort to get him alone but Pidge had just narrowed her eyes suspiciously as Allura frowned.

“Lance will take him,” she’d said. “The Red Lion is the fastest anyway, in case they need to make a hasty getaway. Zarkon may be too tempted to go back on the deal and try to take Black for himself if it’s there. You should stay with the Castle, Shiro. As backup.”

And after that it was too late.

In a turn of events that no one but him had been able to predict, everything had gone wrong. Of course it had. Zarkon went back on his word, of course he did. And now they still didn’t have Sam and they didn’t have Lotor anymore either.

Afterwards Shiro threw himself into training simulations, unable to look the others in the face. He was so _angry_ with them he could barely keep it together. He was even more furious with himself- he should have tried harder, should have found a chance, a way. He should have made it happen somehow, should have gotten the bayard to Lotor before the exchange. If he’d only managed to do that everything could have gone differently.

The nightmares of his imprisonment came back in full force and he woke multiple times a night in a cold sweat. Only now the dreams featured Lotor in Shiro’s place- made to fight in the arena, suffering through Haggar’s experiments, losing his arm and being injected with unknown chemicals, forced to undergo surgery and worse besides.

His only consolation, if it could be called that, was the cold certainty that Lotor was long dead by now, probably had been as soon as Zarkon had gotten ahold of him. Shiro hoped it had been quick, and when he found himself filled with doubts he went to the training deck just to get his mind to stop racing.

To make matters worse Zarkon was back and twice as vicious as before. They quickly lost nearly all the ground they’d gained; most of the planets they’d liberated had been retaken or destroyed. Even Olkarion, once the shining beacon of hope for their Coalition, was back under Galra rule.

They couldn’t keep up or mount an effective defensive front to fight back. It was just Voltron and the scattered remains of the rebels and the Blade of Marmora now. Everyone else was gone.

Shiro yelled as he punched a training robot so hard he sent it flying to hit the far wall with a dull crash.

“End training sequence,” he said, breathing raggedly, and the other three shut down. “Fuck,” he whispered as he pushed his sweaty hair out of his face. This wasn’t helping. His thoughts were too loud, his fears raging out of control. He needed to just- get it together. Being angry wasn’t doing him any good, it wasn’t doing anyone any good. He needed to get his head together and start trying to come up with a way out of this.

Enough was enough- he needed to put his bitterness aside and be a leader again. He hadn’t attended their morning strategy meetings since the first one after they’d lost Lotor.

“What’s the point if you don’t listen to a word I say?” he’d hissed angrily before stalking out and going to the training deck instead.

It was well past time he went back. He needed to be the adult, he needed to just- _try_ again. He sighed and didn’t bother showering before making his way to the bridge.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said quietly as he entered. The others jumped in shock and turned to look at him guiltily. There was a transmission up on the main screen and he squinted at it, the image not quite registering.

“Shiro!” Lance exclaimed, wringing his hands.

“We thought you’d be on the training deck,” Hunk said nervously.

No one else spoke, staring at him like deer caught in headlights. Even Coran seemed speechless, an occurrence so rare it was practically nonexistent. Why were they all so _nervous_?

And then he heard it. Cheering, coming from the screen. He felt like he’d been punched in the gut as he finally realized what the video was- it was a feed from a Galra arena.

“What the fuck is this,” he said, not recognizing his own voice.

They all flinched.

There was a hulking Galra fighter walking into the ring as the crowd cheered.

“Shut it down,” Allura said and Lance scrambled to do something at his console but Shiro strode over and took him firmly by the arm to yank him away from the controls.

“What the fuck is this?” he repeated, even colder now.

This wasn’t a recording, it was a live broadcast. The doors on the other side of the arena opened slowly and the yelling and clapping of the crowd changed to jeers as they started throwing things to the sand- empty food containers, refuse, balled up bits of paper.

“Oh my god,” Shiro said as he saw the other fighter walk into the light.

It was Lotor. He was still alive. Shiro wasn’t sure what it was about him that struck him first but the sight of him knocked the breath out of his lungs. He wanted to throw up, pass out, wake up.

Lotor’s face was gaunt and bruised, his eyes shockingly empty of expression. His hair had been roughly cut short to just past his chin. He was shirtless and barefoot, only wearing some kind of high-waisted loose dark pants and a wide sash.

Shiro had seen him without his armor once, when they’d searched him after he’d first surrendered to them. He’d been slim but powerful, his body made of pure coiled muscle. He was so much thinner now, Shiro could count every single one of his ribs. He walked stiffly, like he was in pain and trying not to let it show. He didn’t have a weapon, not even a knife. Were they expecting him to fight the fully equipped Galra gladiator? Was this his execution?

“Oh my god,” Shiro said and brought his shaking hand to his mouth as Lotor turned, revealing the bloody mess of his back.

Some of the Galra in the crowd were standing now to yell awful things at him- filthy slurs, lewd suggestions, downright insults.

Something happened out of frame and the crowd went silent as a gong rang out and the gladiator hefted his battle axe with a grin. Lotor didn’t move as the Galra fighter advanced, staring past him blankly as though he didn’t even see him.

Shiro’s heart was pounding in his chest as he broke out into a cold sweat. Was Lotor just going to _let_ him-

But he sidestepped the first swing of the axe and ducked under the second. He was moving stiffly, favoring his left side. His right hand was trembling and his knee almost buckled as he sprang back from a particularly wide lunge. A wound on his back opened up and started to bleed. He had to have been in pain but his face was still so terrifyingly blank.

Shiro didn’t want to watch but he couldn’t look away either, he had to know how this would end- if Lotor was about to die. He didn’t know how long it continued but his heart ached at how slowly Lotor was moving, only just barely avoiding killing blow after killing blow. On the next swing he suddenly twisted and grabbed the axe before kicking the gladiator hard in the chest and sending him down to the ground. Lotor didn’t hesitate for a single instant, hefting the axe that was nearly as long as he was tall to bear down on the Galra, severing his head cleanly from his body.

He dropped the weapon then, almost like he’d meant to do it, but Shiro hadn’t missed the way his right hand spasmed just before- he’d simply been unable to hold on any longer.

The crowd booed him loudly as he stood alone in the center of the ring.

He didn’t resist as four soldiers entered the arena and forced him down to his hands and knees before whipping him viciously, the slap of the whip over his bare and bleeding back impossibly loud in Shiro’s ears. The crowd cheered when his right arm gave out and he fell, only just catching himself on his elbow before his face hit the sand. The whipping continued and he did nothing to stop it, letting his head hang down so the cameras couldn’t see his face.

“Oh my god,” Shiro whispered.

One of the soldiers stepped forward and grabbed Lotor by the hair to yank him back into a kneeling position, forcing him to look up at something in the distance. He seemed dazed, his skin flushed and slick with sweat. The soldier bent to whisper something into his ear and Lotor shut his eyes, gritting his teeth. One of the others stepped forward and backhanded him over the face, leaving angry scratches on his cheek from the sharp edges of his glove, and then they were dragging him away and the broadcast was over.

“What the _fuck_ was that?” Shiro demanded, even though he already knew. Zarkon was making an example of Lotor, making a show of punishing and humiliating a traitor for the pleasure of the crowd and to strike fear into any who dared disobey him. Lotor had been gone two months- had this been happening the whole time?

“Shiro-” Allura started.

“No,” he interrupted. “You did this to him. You all did.”

“We didn’t know this was what Zarkon would do-” Lance started.

“No, you just thought he’d execute him and be done with it, like that’s better,” Shiro said, his voice rising with anger.  “I’m the only one here who’s been at their mercy- who knows what cruelty they’re capable of. But you didn’t listen to me, did you? You all knew better, and now he’s-” he broke off, breathing hard. “How long were you planning on hiding this from me? Until they rip him to shreds? We have to _do_ something- he’s still alive, we have to-”

“He’s on the command ship, Shiro,” Coran said sadly. “What can we do? We can barely fight back against one Galra fleet, what can we do against the bulk of Zarkon’s forces?”

“I don’t know,” Shiro said, clenching his hands into fists. “But he- he _helped_ us, he saved Keith’s life on Naxzela- not to mention countless others. We have to- we did this to him!”

“There’s nothing,” Pidge said quietly.

“I refuse to accept that!”

But she was right, they all were. He’d never felt this helpless before, even as a prisoner there was something he could do, a fight he could win. Even as Haggar’s experiment he could bide his time and search for a way to escape, steal a tool or figure out their shifts or even just- _bite_ someone if they got too close. But this- watching Lotor being tortured like this from thousands of light years away- made him feel small and weak, completely useless.

“This isn’t the only broadcast,” he said. “I want to see all of them.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Hunk said carefully.

“I don’t care what any of you think!” Shiro yelled. “Send them to me! _Now_!”

He turned and left, afraid of what he might do or say if he stayed any longer. By the time he returned to his rooms there was a notification on his datapad that he’d received a file transfer. He opened it to see ten videos and had to drop the pad to the table, staring at it for a few long minutes as he steeled himself to open the first one.

It was dated from a month ago and he watched as four soldiers led Lotor out into the center of the arena. He wasn’t looking so good by then already, but there was still some hint of a spark in his eyes and he wasn’t quite so thin. They stripped him naked and forced him to his knees before roughly cutting his hair and whipping him. The soldiers left and a gate opened, letting in a pack of creatures like wolves.

Even as Shiro watched he wasn’t quite sure how Lotor did it- he killed them all, still naked and unarmed and in pain from the whipping and whatever else they’d done to him before. By the time he wrung the last one’s neck he was marked with countless scratches and vicious bites. He didn’t make a single sound throughout any of it and then stood with his head bowed in the middle of the carnage until the guards came to take him away.

After that there was a new broadcast every three days like clockwork. Sometimes they made Lotor fight, sometimes they just tortured him. Once they tied him naked to a stake in the middle of the arena and a Druid injected him with something. That was the only time Shiro heard him break his stoic silence. He screamed, struggling against his bonds for what seemed like forever before he went hoarse and stopped making any sound.

When it was over Shiro had to pause to go throw up before he could continue. He watched them all and by the end of it he was filled with such raw impotent fury that all he could do was sit there and stare at the now-blank screen.

 _They did this to him_. They did. The so called heroes of the universe- team Voltron.

Shiro felt completely drained as he curled up on the bed and stared at the wall. What was he going to do? What _could_ he do? He had vague fantasies of taking the Black Lion and bursting into the command system to rip Lotor away from his jailors. But it wouldn’t work if it was just him. Even if the others came with him, even if they formed Voltron it wouldn’t be enough.

Maybe he could disguise himself somehow and sneak aboard the ship, find Lotor and- but how? How could he do any of it? Maybe the Blades were working on a rescue but there was no way to find out until Keith returned, and even then he may not know. And even if they were- Shiro knew from experience their idea of a rescue would be to shove Lotor in a fighter and send him on his way, somewhere.

He was already in much worse shape than Shiro had been when they’d pulled him out, he’d be unlikely to survive a ‘rescue’ like that on his own.

In the end Shiro knew the truth with painful certainty- there was nothing he could do.

He started spending even more time on the training deck than before. He couldn’t bear to look at the others, much less speak to them outside of battle. Every three days he watched the new broadcasts, watched as Lotor got thinner, more haunted, more injured. Any day now would be his last.

Shiro couldn’t sleep, could barely eat. And then the broadcasts ended.

The most likely explanation was that Lotor was dead, but somehow he didn’t think so. Everything else had been so painfully public, every part of his suffering laid out for all to see- why would Zarkon hide his execution? Even if he’d died of some other ignoble cause- infection, blood loss, illness- why not flaunt his body? Why not take that extra step and humiliate him even in death?

There were other explanations but Shiro refused to consider them. He chose to have hope that the broadcasts were over because Lotor was gone, because he’d managed to escape.

He’d be injured, he’d need help. Shiro had to go find him- but how? Where would Lotor even go? And despite it all, Shiro couldn’t abandon the team no matter what they’d done. He was still the Black Paladin, they needed him too.

Shiro was trapped in indecision for two days, and then Haggar sent a robeast after them and for a brief while he had more immediate problems on his mind. The beast was something fast and vicious and at the back of his mind Shiro feared it was _Lotor_ , forced into serving the Empire one last time.

“Form Voltron,” he ordered and the Lions flew in formation.

“Uh, guys? I’m not getting that Voltron feeling!” Hunk exclaimed into the comms.

Shiro knew with full certainty it was because of him. He didn’t trust them anymore, he didn’t want to be as close to them as forming Voltron would force him to be, mind to mind. He tried to push past it, tried to just _make_ it happen- but he couldn’t get through the wall of anger inside him and knew it was no use.

They nearly died then, all of them, but luckily Keith was there between missions with the Blade of Marmora. Between the five Lions and Keith’s ship they managed to take down the robeast, disabling it before sending it hurtling into a nearby star.

“We need to talk about what happened,” Allura said carefully as Shiro took off his helmet afterwards.

“In the morning,” he said, knowing now there was nothing left to talk about. He was finished- with them, with Voltron, with all of it. He was no use to them anymore, no use as the head of Voltron if he was the reason they couldn’t form it any longer. Somehow that made him feel better. It felt like-

Freedom.

He waited until he was sure the others were asleep before getting dressed in his old clothes and a few pieces of nondescript armor Matt had left behind before covering it all with a long coat. He left his bayard and Paladin Armor laid out neatly on the table and went to the hangar to take Keith’s ship. It was easy- he hadn’t left it locked, why would he?

The ship was designed for long distance stealth missions and that would work in Shiro’s favor. He wasn’t familiar with the systems but they were easy enough to figure out. He felt a sharp pang of guilt as he activated the ship’s stealth cloaking but pushed it down. Keith was here, he could do what Shiro couldn’t anymore- he could fly the Black Lion and form Voltron. He’d have to now.

Shiro tightened his hands over the controls and set his jaw before leaving the bay, setting a course towards Zarkon’s command system before pulling up star charts of the area.

It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack but that didn’t matter. There was nothing else he could do and he wasn’t going into this entirely blind. He’d escaped Galra captivity twice now, surely he could figure out what Lotor would do better than anyone else.

Unless Lotor had been rescued- and who was left out there that would care to do such a thing, much less have the opportunity and ability to- he’d probably managed to steal a ship to make his escape. Fighters were the easiest to take and the hardest to track but they were only fueled and supplied for a week at most.

The last broadcast had been a little over five days ago, Lotor could already be out of the command system and drifting somewhere low on fuel, or crash landed. He’d need medical attention but he’d be too paranoid to stop for it. After all- the whole universe knew his face and that Zarkon wanted him. He probably wouldn’t risk stopping somewhere anyone could find him while he was injured, he’d probably think they’d sell him back to his father and with good reason.

Maybe Lotor knew where to go, maybe he had a safe house somewhere, but all Shiro had was a map and long range sensors. He picked a few likely uninhabited planets within range and started scanning for Galra fighters, crash sites, anything unusual.

It took three days but he finally found something promising, a single crashed fighter on an ice planet. The wreckage was at least a day old and dusted with snow but there were bloody footprints leading away from it and Shiro grabbed a hoverbike out of the hold to follow the trail. A little while later the footsteps were intercepted by others, a group of at least four people. There had been a scuffle and the trail got wider as it turned away towards the distant mountains. Shiro followed it until he reached a large metal door set into the side of a cliff.

He had no idea what he was walking into but it didn’t matter, he was here now and he wasn’t going to leave without checking it out. He didn’t bother trying the access pad, just activated his Galra arm and ripped open the door, letting the howling wind carry snow into the dark corridors beyond.

The bunker- or whatever it was- didn’t seem to be operational. Red emergency lights flashed slowly in the ceiling and Shiro couldn’t help shivering as he walked deeper. What was this place?

At first glance it seemed like a research facility, but the labs he passed were dark and covered in dust, clearly unused. Maybe someone else had taken shelter here and turned it into a hideout- rebels, merchants, bandits.

Shiro found a bedroom standing open with three dead bodies strewn about inside, all men in various states of undress. The room was stained with congealed blood. It stank of iron and piss and sweat and Shiro pressed his hand to his face as he drew closer. There was a bloody trail leading out of the room and down the hall so he followed it slowly, afraid of what he’d find next.

He turned a corner and stopped in his tracks when he saw the silhouette of a man sitting slumped against the wall. Even through the blood and the darkness Shiro recognized him instantly.

“Lotor?” he whispered as he drew closer.

He didn’t move as Shiro crouched down beside him. He was smeared with blood, shirtless and barefoot with a ragged pair of pants as his only garment. There was a knife sticking out of his side, the wound still bleeding sluggishly, but he was breathing, each exhale sounding like a death rattle.

“Oh hell,” Shiro whispered. This was bad, this was so bad. He froze at the feeling of a blade at his throat and looked up into Lotor’s narrowed eyes. His gaze seemed surprisingly sharp given the state of him.

“Black Paladin,” he said, his voice coming out raspy and strained. “Have you come to sell me back to my father? I’m afraid there’s not much left for him.”

“I came to help you,” Shiro said, not daring to move a single muscle. Lotor was severely injured but he was still a threat and somehow that made Shiro impossibly happy. They hadn’t broken him, even after everything they’d done. “I came to save you.”

“Well done,” Lotor sneered. “I’m dying, Paladin. Maybe I’ll take you with me. Maybe that will keep me warm in my final moments.”

“You’re not going to die,” Shiro said firmly. Lotor’s hand was shaking now as he held the knife. He’d seen the broadcasts, he knew that after whatever they’d done to him Lotor wouldn’t be able to keep hold of the weapon for much longer. “I’m here now, I’m going to help you.”

Lotor winced as his hand spasmed and the blade clattered to the floor. Shiro left it where it was and turned his attention to the knife in his side.

“I think I should take that out,” he said slowly. “I can cauterize the wound after.”

Lotor let his head fall back to rest against the wall and closed his eyes, staying silent. Was that an agreement?

“Ok,” Shiro said slowly. “Ok, I’m going to do it then. Get ready.” He didn’t wait for Lotor to reply, just pulled the blade out and pressed his glowing hand to the wound, nauseous at the smell of burning flesh. Lotor winced and gritted his teeth but he didn’t make a single sound except to start panting once Shiro pulled away.

“Alright,” Shiro said, mind racing. “Are there medical supplies around here somewhere?” Being in this place, whatever it was, was making his skin crawl. But Lotor needed help as soon as possible- _now_ \- and if there was a chance Shiro could do something for him here he had to take it.

“I wouldn’t know,” Lotor said.

Should he risk taking the time to search? What if there were more bandits, or whoever those men were, on their way here now?

“Alright, let’s get you back to my ship,” Shiro said, coming to a decision. He only hoped Lotor could make it that far.

“Can’t you call the Black Lion here to you?” Lotor asked.

“I left the Lion behind to come find you,” Shiro said quietly.

“I’m supposed to believe that?” Lotor asked, narrowing his eyes. “I’m supposed to believe you left your team for me? Tell me the truth, Paladin. What did Zarkon offer you for my return?”

“Believe what you want, but I never wanted to hand you over to him in the first place. Now come on- I’m getting you out of here.” Shiro stood carefully. “Give me your hand,” he said, holding out his own. Lotor glared up at him for a few moments longer, but then he reached out to him and Shiro pulled him to his feet. There was a gigantic bloodstain on the wall where he’d been leaning against it. They needed to hurry.

Lotor stumbled and Shiro didn’t know how to steady him, where to touch him without hurting him further.

“Take this,” Shiro said, slipping out of his coat and helping Lotor put his arms through the sleeves. “Ok,” he breathed out, “ok, let’s just-” He slid carefully under Lotor’s right shoulder. It was his injured side but there was nothing for it, Shiro needed his Galra arm free in case he had to fight. Lotor was shaking as they started walking, leaning most of his weight on Shiro, but that was alright, they just had to make it out to the hoverbike and then he could rest.

Shiro paused at the open door to the corpse-filled bedroom, leaning Lotor carefully against the wall before stepping towards the room.

“What are you doing?” Lotor asked.

“It’s cold out there,” Shiro said, trying to steel his nerves to go inside. “You need boots.”

He took a deep breath before walking in but the stench of death and fear hit him like a physical blow all the same and he couldn’t help feeling faint. Lotor had killed these men, all of them. Whatever they’d been trying to do- he’d been desperate enough to manage to kill all three. Shiro wasn’t going to pass out on him now, he was going to do as he said and just- get him some boots so they could get the fuck away from here.

He picked the guy with the biggest feet and divested him of his boots before pausing and taking one more look around the room. He was disgusted at the thought of taking anything else from here but it didn’t matter. It was cold out there, getting out of the bunker wouldn’t do them any good if they just froze to death on the way back to the ship. He rolled the bodies off the bed and grabbed the bloodstained blanket before going back out into the hallway.

Lotor was standing with his forehead pressed against the wall, trembling and breathing hard, but he straightened a little when Shiro came towards him and knelt to help him into the stolen boots.

“You don’t have to pretend you’re not hurting,” Shiro said quietly.

Lotor didn’t answer as Shiro draped the blanket around him and pulled him onwards. Lotor flinched when they stepped out of the facility and seemed perplexed as Shiro led him to the hoverbike. Maybe he’d been expecting an ambush. The wind had picked up and it had grown colder as the sun began to set. Shiro helped Lotor get settled before sitting in front of him, starting the engines.

“Hold on,” Shiro muttered and waited until Lotor wrapped his arms around his waist before hitting the throttle. He pushed the bike as fast it would go and still he felt like it took ages to get back to the ship.

“This is a Galra ship,” Lotor said quietly as Shiro helped him stand and discard the bloody blanket. He hated the thing, no matter how necessary it had been, and he didn’t want it anywhere near the residential quarters.

“I told you I didn’t come in the Lion.”

“I thought you were lying.”

“I wasn’t. Come on.” He took Lotor to the living quarters and sat him down on the bed. “I’ll be right back,” he said, “and then we’ll get you cleaned up.”

He hurried to the cockpit and set a course towards nothing in particular so much as _away_ from the command system, as far away as possible from Zarkon and Galra controlled space. He grabbed the first aid kit on the way back, the small box seeming completely inadequate in the face of Lotor’s injuries.

Lotor flinched when Shiro walked back into the room.

“Let’s get that coat off,” Shiro said quietly, making sure his movements were as slow and unthreatening as possible. The coat was soaked through with blood and dried to his back in places, but Lotor stayed stoic as ever as Shiro pulled it away from his ravaged skin. The knife wound was as good as it was going to get, but his back was a nightmare from flogging on top of flogging.

“Lie down on your front and I’ll do what I can,” Shiro said.

Lotor did as he was told and Shiro settled next to him, opening the kit and reaching for the antiseptic. He did what he could even though it felt useless. In some places Lotor was flayed down to the bone, in others the skin was already hot and inflamed with the beginning of infection. He needed stitches, surgery, a healing pod- none of which Shiro was equipped to provide. But what could he do? Where could he go?

“The Castle of Lions has healing pods,” he said at last.

“ _No_ ,” Lotor said vehemently. “I’m not going back there, and if you try to take me I’ll kill you.”

It had been a long shot anyway. Maybe if he got worse Shiro would have to do it anyway, but maybe- Lotor was strong, maybe he could make it through this.

“Ok,” Shiro said carefully, moving on to examine his right shoulder and arm. Something was wrong there but he couldn’t begin to understand what, much less have any idea what to do about it.

“Where are you taking me?” Lotor asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” Shiro said. “Just- away.”

“So far I’m quite unimpressed by this so called rescue.”

“Yeah,” Shiro said and smiled. “But I found you, didn’t I?”

His eyes caught on Lotor’s pants, bloodstained and ragged, and the smile fell off his face. What had they _done_ to him? What had they done to him while he was Zarkon’s captive, and what had the bandits done to him just this past day?

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” he asked. “Maybe I should-” he paused, putting his hand carefully on Lotor’s hip.

“ _Don’t_ ,” Lotor hissed, flinching away from him, and Shiro drew back.

“Alright,” he said. “I’ll just- let you rest now. Unless you need anything else? Are you hungry? Thirsty? You should take a painkiller at least, maybe a sedative-”

“Get out.”

“Alright,” Shiro said, quieter. “I’ll come check on you in a little while.”

Shiro stood and nodded even though Lotor couldn’t see him, and left for the cockpit to try and figure out what to do next.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

* * *

 

“It looks- better,” Shiro said nervously when he came to check on Lotor a few hours later.

“I doubt it,” Lotor said, groaning quietly as he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

Shiro gave him a glass of water and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously but drank it all the same.

“You should eat.”

“I can’t stomach anything right now.”

“Fuck,” Shiro breathed out, sitting down on the bed next to him and dropping his head into his hands. “I don’t know what to do- how to help you. You need real medical attention, not whatever bullshit I can do for you here. You need a healing pod, maybe surgery. I think some of your wounds are infected and you probably have internal bleeding, not to mention whatever’s going on with your arm.

“But I don’t know what to do! There’s nowhere to go- the coalition is gone. Maybe on Olkarion they could help but they’re-” Shiro sighed. When he looked up Lotor was staring at him sharply.

“If you want to help, get me a painkiller. And show me where I can wash. I can’t stand the filth.”

“Alright,” Shiro said shakily. “I can do that.” He opened the first aid kit and rooted through the medicines but they were all marked by Galra writing, unfamiliar to him.

“That one,” Lotor said, pointing at a small red bottle.

Shiro opened it before handing it over and watched as Lotor downed the whole thing in one swig.

“There’s a bathroom off this room, and a shower.” He pointed and Lotor nodded.

“Let me help you,” Shiro said and tried not to flinch at Lotor’s glare. “With your hair, at least. I can wash it for you in the sink, so you don’t have to get your back wet.” He sighed awkwardly in the face of Lotor’s weaponized silence. “Just- you don’t have to pretend, alright? You can barely raise your arms, you’ll just reopen your wounds if you try. Let me do this for you and I’ll leave you alone after.”

“Fine,” Lotor bit out and got to his feet unsteadily. Some of the tension had left his body though, maybe the painkillers were kicking in.

Shiro brought a chair into the bathroom for him and set it up in front of the sink, supporting his neck as he leaned back. He was careful as he poured warm water over his hair, rinsing out the worst of the blood and dirt. It was ages before the water ran clear and then he got the soap, trying to be thorough at the same time as he tried not to linger. Lotor seemed to relax more with time, though if it was from the painkillers or anything he was doing, Shiro didn’t know. He finished at last and did his best to towel his hair dry before setting the towel aside.

“Do you want help with anything else?” Shiro asked.

“Boots,” Lotor said after a long moment of silence. “Then go.”

“Alright,” Shiro said, kneeling to pull his boots off before standing. “I’ll get some food ready for you. For once you’re finished.”

“Don’t bother, I’m not hungry.”

That wasn’t a good sign, but none of this was. Shiro nodded and left. He wandered the halls aimlessly for a while, trying to waste enough time that maybe Lotor would be finished by the time he returned. He managed a little more than an hour before he couldn’t take it anymore and went back into the room to find Lotor on the bed again, clean now with the damp towel wrapped around his hips.

Shiro rummaged through the closet and found a pair of soft pants for him, leaving them folded up on the edge of the bed. He was surprised that Lotor hadn’t said anything to him yet, and when he turned it was to see he was asleep.

He looked almost peaceful and Shiro couldn’t help smiling. He left a glass of water and another bottle of painkillers within easy reach on the nightstand and turned to go.

 

* * *

 

“You should really eat,” Shiro said insistently.

“I’m fine,” Lotor whispered. He was curled up on the bed facing away from him, shivering and pale. If anything his back looked worse, ragged and inflamed.

“It’s been three days- quintants- now.”

“Go away, Paladin.”

“Lotor, _please_ ,” Shiro begged. “Or let me just- put more antiseptic ointment on it- _something.”_

“Don’t touch me.”

“ _Fuck_. I won’t, just. Lotor- you need help. You have to know someone, or- or- someplace. Someplace we could go.”

Lotor laughed bitterly. “If I knew a place I wouldn’t take you there with that _thing_ attached to you.”

“Thing?” Shiro asked, frowning.

“Yes- _thing_. What else would you call it?”

Shiro looked down to try and figure out what Lotor was talking about. He had a fever now, was he already delirious? And then he realized what Lotor meant.

“The arm?”

“Yes, the _arm_ , you absolute fool,” Lotor hissed, still not looking at him. “Where do you think you got that from?”

“I-” Shiro shivered nervously. “Haggar’s lab. But Pidge did scans, she said it was alright.”

“Forgive me if I don’t put my faith in a human child’s _scans_ ,” Lotor muttered, curling into himself.

“Alright,” Shiro said slowly. “You’re saying if I get rid of the arm, you’ll tell me where to take you? Where they can help you get better?”

“I’m not saying anything,” Lotor muttered, turning his face into the pillows. “Other than it’s a wonder someone as stupid as you has managed to survive this long at all. It’s a wonder the witch hasn’t already found us. Maybe she’s on her way here now, for both of us.”

He laughed again, his next words sounding a little slurred. “Who do you think she’ll enjoy torturing more? You- or me?”

The thought made Shiro break out in a cold sweat. What Lotor was saying- that was probably the fever talking. Wasn’t it? Suddenly he wasn’t so sure.

He flexed his Galra fingers nervously, staring down at his hand. Pidge had said it was alright but would she really be able to know for sure? Was Lotor right about this? Could Haggar be tracking him somehow, or using the arm for something even worse? That risk alone was enough of a reason to do as Lotor said, but then he’d be almost entirely defenseless. It wasn’t just his right arm, it was also the most powerful weapon he had now that the bayard was gone.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t considered it before,” Lotor scoffed.

“Not for a while,” Shiro admitted. “Should I just- how should I do it?”

“How should I know?” Lotor asked. “You can jump out the airlock for all I care.”

“Stay awake,” Shiro said as he stood from the bed. “When I get back you’ll tell me where to go.” He paused and stared at Lotor. “If you’re fucking with me- you’ll die, do you understand? If we don’t get you to someone soon- you’re going to die.”

“The only one who cares if I live or die is you, Paladin,” Lotor said quietly. “You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t have come for me at all. Now that you have- you should let me die or kill me yourself, and then go home and try to enjoy what time you have left before the Empire comes for your backwards planet.”

“I’ll be back soon,” Shiro said firmly. “Stay awake.”

He paused just outside the room, running his hand through his hair. What the fuck was he doing? He’d let Lotor- delirious and ill as he was- convince him to cut off his own arm. Was Shiro just as mad as him to think any of this made any sense?

The thought of Haggar using the arm to track him was viscerally horrifying and yet so painfully plausible. Pidge was smart and talented but Lotor was right to say she was a child. They all were- especially compared to a ten thousand year old witch. Did they really think they could outsmart her with their spunk and tenacity, with their knowledge of Earth technology which would have been considered primitive even before the war had started?

But beyond all that- if Shiro did this maybe Lotor would tell him how to help him. Maybe Shiro could still save him, or find the people who could. He’d cut his arm off for that alone.

He already knew what he was going to do and how. Hopefully Lotor had been joking when he’d suggested Shiro throw himself out the airlock, but it hadn’t exactly been a terrible idea as far as this was concerned.

Shiro went to the nearest airlock and pulled open the control panel to override the safety protocols. It was easy in the end, and as he opened the first door all he could hear was a faint ringing in his ears, slowly getting louder. He felt like he was watching himself from the outside, floating above his body as he held his Galra arm over the threshold. He didn’t make the conscious decision to take the next step so much as numbly watched his own fingers move towards the panel as if in slow motion to hit the command to close the door.

He didn’t really feel the impact, just heard a loud clang right before his body was enveloped in electricity. He screamed in agony, falling to his knees and clutching at his chest. His heart was stuttering unevenly and he was terrified he was about to die from the pain, the shock of it all. What had he just _done_?

And then the pain was fading and he found himself panting as he stared up at the ceiling. He didn’t remember falling. His body ached all over but he forced himself up, forced himself not to stare at the sparking stump that was where his arm had been just moments ago. He looked through the small window set into the airlock door at his Galra arm, still twitching on the ground, the fingers clenching and unclenching. He set his jaw and hit the panel to open the outer door, watching as the arm was sucked out into the cold darkness of space.

God, he hoped he hadn’t just made a huge mistake. But that’s all his life had been lately, a series of huge mistakes. At least this one might do him some good.

Lotor was sleeping fitfully when Shiro returned to the room. He was frowning and shivering, whimpering quietly.

“Lotor,” Shiro said gently, crouching on the floor next to him. “I need you to wake up.”

He hesitated to reach out, Lotor hadn’t let Shiro touch him since he’d helped him with his boots three days ago.

“Lotor,” Shiro said a little louder.

Lotor opened his eyes with a groan and looked up at him blearily.

“Shiro?” he whispered.

“Yes,” he said. It was the first time Lotor had used his name and he wasn’t sure how that made him feel. “It’s me. I got rid of it, just like you wanted. You can tell me now- tell me where to go.”

“What?” Lotor asked and then smiled softly. “Alright- anything you want, love.”

Shiro’s eyes widened in shock.

“But say it first,” Lotor continued. “I want to hear you say it.”

Say what? He had no idea what Lotor was talking about as he reached out to put his hand on the side of Shiro’s face. His skin was so _hot_ Shiro almost flinched. His eyes were glassy and Shiro’s heart sank. Maybe everything he’d said was bullshit, maybe they were both screwed now.

“ _Please_ , Shiro,” Lotor breathed out.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. Lotor, I need you to focus. I don’t think we have much time.”

“That’s not right,” Lotor frowned.

Shiro shivered as Lotor slid his hand to the back of his neck and pulled him in closer, pressing a hot kiss to his lips. He froze, wide-eyed and confused. Lotor tried to deepen the kiss but he jerked back, breathing hard.

“What are you doing?” he asked shakily.

Lotor was frowning even harder now, and then his gaze sharpened and he let Shiro go. “This is real,” he said.

“Yes,” Shiro said. “It’s real. Now, come on- _please_. Just tell me where to go. Give me the coordinates and I’ll-”

“No,” Lotor said, fighting to sit up. “I won’t give the coordinates to you or anyone. Help me to the cockpit.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, can you even walk?”

“We’re doing this my way or not at all,” Lotor said, wincing as he lowered his feet to the floor.

“Fine,” Shiro muttered and moved closer so Lotor could slip an arm around his shoulders.

The walk to the cockpit seemed to take forever but finally he was helping Lotor into the pilot’s seat.

“Turn around,” Lotor said and Shiro exhaled sharply before doing as he was told. This was madness but what else could he do? If there was even a faint chance this could work he would gladly do whatever it took. He listened to the soft tapping of Lotor’s fingers on the console, and when he grew silent Shiro took a chance and turned back around.

Lotor was sitting on the edge of the seat with his arms wrapped around his shoulders, staring up at the stars before them. The ship was on a new course, but the coordinates were hidden and for some reason there was no estimated time of arrival showing on screen. He’d done something to the shields too, changed them to a frequency Shiro didn’t recognize.

“Lotor?” he whispered, suddenly afraid to break the silence. “We should get you back to your room.”

“I want to sit here a moment longer,” Lotor answered. “In case I never get to see this again.”

“Alright, just a little while then.”

Shiro didn’t know how long he stood there beside him until Lotor shivered and tilted his head down. When Shiro looked over it was to see tears streaming down his face. “Hey,” he said and stepped closer, carefully dropping his hand to stroke Lotor’s sweaty hair. Lotor sobbed and leaned over to press his face against Shiro’s hip.

“I lied,” he said shakily. “I don’t want to die. I’m afraid.”

“It’s going to be alright,” Shiro said, hoping it was true. “It’s going to be alright now.”

He stroked Lotor’s hair as he wept, on the verge of crying himself. But if they were going to make it through this only one of them could break down at a time, so Shiro swallowed hard and forced himself to stay strong.

 

* * *

 

It only got worse from there.

Lotor’s wounds smelled rancid with infection and there was nothing Shiro could do about it. His fever spiked to levels that would have killed a human instantly and he sank into delirium. Shiro tried to keep him cool as best he could but it was all he could do just to get him to drink some water once in a while.

Lotor slept fitfully, muttering and crying out. He wept and screamed and begged for mercy and forgiveness. Shiro tried to calm him down but it was no use, he wasn’t really conscious anymore. Lotor begged for Dayak, for Honerva, even on occasion for Zarkon to help him. He pleaded with people that weren’t there- Narti and Acxa and Allura and others whose names Shiro didn’t recognize.

Through it all the ship showed no estimated time of arrival and Shiro was going mad with worry and the uncertainty of how much longer he’d have to endure this. Lotor was running out of time.

Shiro was too afraid to leave his bedside for longer than it took to fetch a glass of water, too afraid to sleep, he couldn’t bear to eat. He tried to comfort Lotor, wiping down his hot skin with a damp cloth and stroking his hair, but it was like spitting on a wildfire- utterly useless.

He couldn’t mark time properly anymore but it must have been days, maybe even a week, until the ship’s computer announced-

_Prepare for Landing_.

Shiro jerked up, his heart racing. He staggered against the wall when the ship shook as it entered some sort of atmosphere and practically ran for the hangar. As soon as the ship stilled and the engines shut down he was opening the door and squinting at the bright sunlight that greeted him, raising his arm to shield his face and blinking furiously.

Slowly the world beyond the hangar resolved into a clear picture. They were in an idyllic grassy meadow with a forest and blue skies beyond.

“Don’t move,” someone said and Shiro looked down to see five men surrounding the open door in a loose semi-circle, pointing blasters at him. The aliens looked almost human, familiar somehow, but Shiro was too dizzy with nausea and hunger and sleep deprivation to figure it out.

“Who are you? How did you find us?”

“Please, I need help,” Shiro said. “My- my friend needs help. He’s dying.”

“How did you find us?” the leader demanded.

“He gave me the coordinates-”

“Who did?”

“Lotor- Prince Lotor. Please-”

The man’s eyes widened and he lowered his blaster, the others following suit. “He’s with you?”

“Yes!” Shiro cried out. “I don’t know how much time he has left, you have to hurry.”

The leader turned to one of the others. “Fetch the healers, all of them. Quickly!”

One of the men sprinted away and the leader turned back to Shiro. “Take me to him.”

“Right,” Shiro said shakily, “this way.” He hurried back to Lotor’s room with the man following.

The man stopped in his tracks when he was hit with the smell of sickness and death hanging over the room like a dark cloud. “Dear ancestors,” he whispered before making his way to the bed and putting his hand carefully on Lotor’s shoulder.

“Can you help him?” Shiro asked, nervously clenching and unclenching his fingers. What if it was already too late?

“Quiet,” the man ordered and closed his eyes. His body began to glow with a blue light that slowly enveloped Lotor.

That blue light- suddenly Shiro knew who these people were. Alteans.

“Oh god,” he moaned, sliding down the wall as his knees gave out. This was just a dream or some kind of hallucination. There were no Alteans, just Allura and Coran. None of this was real, Lotor was probably already dead and Shiro had just gone mad somewhere along the way.

He could only stare as a dozen more Alteans rushed in to surround Lotor, putting their hands on him wherever there was room. The light grew so bright that Shiro had to shut his eyes but even then he could still see it and he buried his face in his knees.

“Are you hurt?” he heard and flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up into a young Altean woman’s bright green eyes, looking at him with a slight frown. “You don’t look well. Let me help you,” she said. She reached for his face and the world went dark.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

* * *

 

Shiro woke slowly, opening his eyes to see he was in a large room with a high vaulted ceiling. There were tall windows set into one wall, letting in the soft pink glow of a sunset, and he was laying in a wide bed under crisp white sheets.

His mouth felt full of cotton and his head was spinning but he felt surprisingly good otherwise. When he sat up he felt something pulling at his right shoulder and looked down to see that the metal remains of his Galra arm had been removed and the stump neatly bandaged. He broke out in a cold sweat at the thought that he’d been operated on while he was out, it was all a little too close to what had happened when he’d been a Galra captive. But there were no signs that he was being held captive here, no shackles or bars on the windows, no guards at the door.

He moved to lower his feet to the ground, looking down at himself to see he was clean and wearing fresh clothing- a long white tunic and soft white pants like pajamas. There was a quiet click and he looked up to see the door opening.

“You’re awake,” the Altean woman from before said as she entered the room. She was dressed similarly to him, though her clothes were a bright vibrant green. She smiled warmly as she ran a hand through her curly chestnut hair, a multitude of gold rings glittering on her fingers.

“Yes,” Shiro said cautiously.

“There’s no need to worry,” she said. “You’re safe here.”

“Where is here?” he asked.

“This is New Altea,” she said. “My name is Amra- I’ve been taking care of you. You’ve been out for a few quintants, your body desperately needed the rest. If you’re well enough, you should eat now.”

“Where’s Lotor?” Shiro demanded. “How is he? Is he alive?”

“Prince Lotor is alive and doing much better now, although he’s yet to wake.”

“I want to see him.”

“Certainly, Master Kolivan,” she said, inclining her head respectfully.

Shiro frowned. “What? No, I’m not- my name is Shiro.”

“Oh!” she said, her eyes widening in surprise. “We pulled the information from your ship’s database but it appears there has been some mistake. Apologies, Master Shiro.”

“I’m not- just Shiro is fine.”

“As you say, Master Shiro,” she nodded again. “If you’re well enough to walk, you can follow me.”

Shiro stood on shaking legs and swayed a little, and the woman, Amra, stepped closer to steady him with a hand to his lower back.

“Just a moment,” she said, bending to pull a pair of slippers from under the bed and helping him get his feet inside. “This way,” she said, taking him by the arm and leading him out of the room.

Shiro looked around curiously as they walked. If he had to guess he’d say he was in some kind of palace. The walls were made of finely grained white stone like marble and decorated by elegant columns and vases filled with exotic flowers set into deep niches. The floor was set with an elaborate mosaic depicting constellations he didn’t recognize.

“Here we are,” she said and pressed her finger to her lips before opening a set of heavy double doors.

Shiro stepped carefully inside the darkened room. The space was dominated by a large four poster bed, the curtains pulled back and tied to the posts with silk cords. The only light came from a few candles set out on one of the nightstands, giving off a pleasant fresh scent.

He drew closer to see Lotor laying in the middle of the bed on his stomach. He was shirtless but his back was neatly bandaged now. He was sleeping peacefully, his face clear of pain or worry. He looked so much younger with short hair, with his skin clear of bruises or scrapes and the heavy bags under his eyes mostly melted away.

Shiro reached out to push a tendril of hair back from his face and tuck it behind one of his pointed ears, feeling faint with relief. He could already tell- Lotor would be alright now.

“He needs the rest,” Amra whispered and Shiro nodded jerkily, understanding that she was asking him to leave. As he followed her out of the room his legs felt like jelly and he had to pause just outside, leaning heavily against the wall.

“He’s never brought anyone here before,” Amra said, watching him with interest. “He must trust you a great deal.”

“I doubt it,” Shiro said with a bitter laugh that suddenly turned into a sob. There were tears streaming down his face and he harshly wiped them away.

“Master Shiro,” Amra said with alarm. “I didn’t mean to upset you-”

“I’m fine,” he cut her off, trying to force himself to calm down. “It’s nothing you said or did.” He was overcome with guilt that he’d allowed this to happen to Lotor in the first place, overcome with guilt at abandoning his team.

God- what had he _done_? How had everything gotten so fucked up?

Lately he hadn’t had time to worry about anything but the next few minutes, his world focused only on fighting for survival. And he’d been alright with that, he’d been in control because that’s what he had to be. Now though, this peaceful moment had broken him. Without being forced to focus on the next step he was suddenly overwhelmed with self-doubt.

“You need rest too,” Amra said with quiet understanding. “You’ve been through a lot. Let me help you back to your rooms and I’ll have your dinner brought to you.”

“I don’t think I can eat anything right now,” Shiro managed.

“In the morning, then,” she said easily. “After breakfast we can discuss your options in regards to a new prosthetic, and anything else you may need. We’re going to take care of you, Master Shiro. We’ll take care of you both.”

 

* * *

 

As Shiro waited for Lotor to wake, his life settled into something like the familiar routine from before. He woke at dawn and went through his training exercises, stretching and doing drills in lieu of access to a combat simulator. He ate breakfast and went to check on Lotor before leaving to wander through the palace or New Altea.

It was beautiful- a bustling city full of Alteans. He had no idea how this could be possible and he didn’t think he’d get the full story until Lotor woke, and maybe not even then. There was a huge statue of him in the main square and Shiro didn’t know how that made him feel, but he knew he didn’t like looking directly at it for too long.

Everyone seemed to know who he was, which he supposed was easy since he seemed to be the only non-Altean around. They treated him like some kind of hero for bringing Lotor back and that made him feel awkward and embarrassed so he didn’t usually stay in the city for long.

He had lunch at the palace and afterwards he met with Altean healers and engineers as they worked to build a new arm for him. That part was oddly exciting, almost fun. He felt like he was reclaiming his body by getting a say in what sort of prosthetic would become a part of him. Sometimes the head engineer, a young Altean named Bandor, let Shiro watch him work and he couldn’t help but be fascinated- the technology was so beyond anything he’d ever imagined.

Dinner usually snuck up on him and afterwards he checked on Lotor again before bathing and going to sleep.

He hadn’t felt this well rested and at ease since well before the Kerberos mission and he didn’t quite know what to do with that. Mostly he felt guilty to be lounging around in paradise while the Paladins and their allies were no doubt in constant danger. He desperately needed to know what was happening but there was no way to contact them. Wherever they were, all outside communications were completely blocked.

The days seemed to blur together with nothing much to distinguish them from one another. The sun rose every morning on a perfect day, no sign of anything more than light fluffy clouds in the sky. The air was always pleasantly warm, the wind only a light breeze. There was really nothing much for him to do, no responsibilities or duties. He found a dusty book in the library and started keeping a tally in the margins, marking the days so he could keep track of time.

Nearly two weeks passed before Amra came to find Shiro reading in the gardens.

“He’s awake now if you’d like to see him,” she said, beaming. Shiro practically jumped to his feet before taking the by-now familiar path to Lotor’s rooms. He paused at the open door, suddenly nervous.

Lotor was sitting propped up against a mountain of pillows, cradling a cup of something in his hands as he spoke to a young woman who must have been his nurse.

“...just a child when I saw you last, Romelle,” Lotor was saying. He seemed happy and at ease in a way Shiro had never seen him before.

The woman smiled and tucked a strand of long blonde hair behind her ear. “You’ve been gone a long time, Sire,” she said.

“How is your brother?”

“He’s well. Bandor is married now, with two children.”

“That’s excellent news. I’d quite like to meet them.”

“I’m sure they’d be honored, Sire,” she said with a respectful nod. When she straightened she caught sight of Shiro waiting at the door and smiled. “Sire, your Praetus is here to see you.”

Shiro frowned a little, wondering at the unfamiliar term. Now that his presence had been announced there was no point skulking outside so he stepped fully into the room.

“He’s been by every day,” the woman said in a stage whisper, leaning towards Lotor conspiratorially. “Twice a day, and sometimes thrice,” she said with a sly grin. “I’ll leave you two alone.” She winked at Shiro before leaving and closing the door carefully behind her.

“I’m your what now?” Shiro asked as he walked closer.

“I don’t know what you are, Paladin,” Lotor said a little stiffly, the easy manner he’d had around Romelle evaporating in an instant.

“You called me Shiro, before,” Shiro said, sitting on the bed carefully as he tried not to think about what had happened right afterwards- Lotor kissing him in his fevered state. He still didn’t know what the hell that had been about and dwelling on it just made him feel awkward and hot under the collar. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better. Thank you for getting me here, and- for everything else.”

“Lotor, what is this place?” Shiro asked.

“Surely they’ve told you?” Lotor said, raising a brow pointedly. “This is New Altea.”

“Yeah, they’ve said that much,” Shiro said with a laugh, running his hand through his hair and looking away. “But- how is it _here_? There’s a- a _statue_ of you, in the main square. What do you have to do with this?”

“I built this place, Shiro,” Lotor said. “I saved as many Alteans as I could and brought them here where they could be safe. I gave them what they needed to create a life here, and they have.”

“Oh,” Shiro breathed out. He didn’t think he could feel any worse about how they’d sold him out but now he was practically drowning in guilt. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Lotor laughed bitterly. “Why _would_ I tell you? Any of you? So you and the children could rush in here and destroy everything I’ve built? I’d die before putting these people at risk.”

“Allura and Coran deserve to know,” Shiro said slowly. “These are their people.”

“These are _my_ people,” Lotor hissed, his eyes flashing in anger. “I saved them, I’ve protected them all this time- what has your princess done other than trade my life away in return for empty promises? Why should I care what she _deserves_?”

Lotor set his cup on the nightstand forcefully and Shiro flinched. He didn’t know what to say, there was nothing he could say in response to that.

“I don’t make decisions based on what’s _fair_ , or _right_ , or _good_ ,” Lotor continued, glaring. “I make decisions based on what course of action will have the best possible outcome. If the situation had been different I may have killed you and taken your ship to come here instead of bringing you along. You are _nothing_ to me, Paladin. Nothing but a convenient tool. Now get the fuck out of my sight.”

Shiro stood numbly and turned away, back stiff as he walked to the door and closed it carefully behind himself.

 

* * *

 

Shiro’s days continued much as before but Lotor was awake now and Shiro couldn’t help catching sight of him everywhere. He saw him running laps and doing drills on the training fields, saw him across the dining hall when he took his meals, or talking to Amra and the Altean elders in the library, or frolicking in the gardens with a gaggle of children hanging off him.

That one was the oddest of all and Shiro couldn’t help but to stop and watch. He seemed so _happy_ that it made Shiro’s heart hurt. He’d never imagined Lotor had a soft side to him, had only thought of him as a cold and cunning commander, a lethal warrior, a threat, and briefly- a victim. And yet here he was, pretending to be mortally wounded when a little Altean boy that couldn’t have been older than six raised his fingers in the shape of a blaster and made _pew pew_ noises while pointing at his chest.

“Ooooh- you got me!” Lotor moaned dramatically, falling to the grass as the children giggled and climbed on top of him. “But wait! My armor is blaster-proof!” he cried out and grabbed the child that had ‘killed’ him and tickled him while the boy squealed in happiness.

Lotor seemed so impossibly in his element here that Shiro wondered why he ever left this place at all. His heart skipped a beat and he had to turn away when the answer hit him- Lotor left this place because he was trying to protect it.

Shiro felt like a ghost wandering through the palace, wondering if Lotor had really meant all those things he’d said to him. Surely not, and yet- it was clear that he knew nothing of Lotor at all.

His arm was finally finished and he was taken to the surgical suite to have it attached. When he woke he couldn’t help smiling as he raised the appendage slowly, flexing his new metal fingers. It was silver and blue, almost as sensitive as his flesh arm. It felt like a part of him in a way the Galra arm never had. He’d helped design this, he knew its full capabilities even before he woke. Its weight matched his left arm almost perfectly and he could practically feel his back unknotting with relief, his body returning to a comfortable balance.

“The area where the flesh meets the metal will be sore for quite a while,” Bandor said. “But it should heal quickly enough and then you’ll be able to use it as before. The battle capabilities are extensive as well, overall I think you’ll be quite pleased.”

“I already am,” Shiro said with a smile. “Thank you.”

“Master Shiro,” Amra said, stepping towards him. “Would you like to rest now?”

“Actually I’m feeling pretty good,” Shiro said. “I’m not tired at all.”

“That’s an excellent sign,” Amra said, beaming at him. “But I should still show you to the healing baths- you should soak the join to hasten the healing process.”

“Sure,” Shiro said agreeably and followed her down an unfamiliar hallway.

“This is it,” she said, pausing before a nondescript door. “Half a varga or so should be sufficient. Please call for me if there’s anything you need.”

“Thank you,” he said and she nodded before leaving.

He stepped through the door and paused, finding himself in a dark chamber almost like a cave. There was a large pool in the center, gently glowing a healing blue, and at the far side of it- Lotor reclined nude in the clear water with his arms draped over the edge. He looked up at Shiro, his face perfectly blank.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro said. “I’ll go.”

“No need,” Lotor said. “I see you have a new arm.”

“Yes,” Shiro said self-consciously. “They told me- but I didn’t mean to intrude. I can come back another time.”

“The effects are most potent immediately,” Lotor said. “You’re not intruding. You may join me.”

“Ok,” Shiro said nervously. It had been days since they last spoke and now Shiro didn’t quite know how to act around him. Lotor closed his eyes and dropped his head back against the edge of the pool revealing the long elegant line of his throat. Shiro swallowed nervously and forced himself to look away before his eyes could drop lower.

He got undressed quickly and stepped into the warm water, holding back a pleased sigh. It tingled pleasantly over his skin, and when he lowered his right arm below the surface he nearly moaned. It felt impossibly good, like everything that was hurt and sore was literally being washed away.

Shiro closed his eyes too and they sat in silence for a while, and then he felt a tingle run down his spine and opened his eyes to see Lotor watching him intently.

“I wanted to apologize for before,” Lotor said quietly. “I was- angry. And bitter. I appreciate what you’ve done. You’re not nothing to me, that was a cruel thing to say.”

“Oh,” Shiro managed, flushing. “I- thank you.”

“Mmm,” Lotor hummed and closed his eyes again, but suddenly Shiro couldn’t look away.

“I’m sorry too,” he said, letting the words spill out at last. “I didn’t want to trade you- I tried to convince them, but-“ he sighed. “After, I wanted to give you my bayard but I- I couldn’t get you alone and- I’m sorry. I should have tried harder.” He looked down, afraid of meeting Lotor’s eyes.

“I doubt it would have done me much good,” Lotor murmured. “But I suppose I appreciate the sentiment.”

“I saw the broadcasts,” Shiro whispered. “It was- horrible. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Lotor didn’t say anything and Shiro didn’t dare look at him. “How did you-“ he swallowed nervously. “How did you escape?”

Lotor stayed silent and Shiro looked up at him at last, regretting asking. Lotor frowned and licked his lips and then he smiled in a way that made Shiro flinch.

“My generals,” he said. “They found out what my father had planned for me for the next broadcast and they couldn’t stomach it.” He opened his eyes to look at him and Shiro found himself frozen.

“They’re still loyal to you, then?” Shiro asked.

“No,” Lotor said with a brittle laugh. “They didn’t do it for me. They did it for themselves- they just couldn’t bear to watch anymore. They had a front row seat to my suffering for two phoebs and it was only the last indignity they couldn’t bear. Not when they crippled my sword arm, not when they whipped me within an inch of my life, not when they stripped me down and _humiliated_ me, not at any other point.”

“What were they going to-“ Shiro whispered and broke off at Lotor’s sharp gaze.

“Do you really want to know?” Lotor asked slowly. "My father's hatred of me runs deep- do you truly wish to know how he intended to degrade me next?" 

Shiro shuddered and looked away. “No,” he said at last. “No. It’s over now. What might have happened doesn’t matter, the important thing is that it’s over.”

“I suppose,” Lotor said, closing his eyes again.

They sat in silence for a while and then the door opened and a young Altean man walked in, throwing a nervous glance Shiro’s way.

“Prince Lotor, may I help you back to your rooms?”

“Yes, thank you,” Lotor said, standing from the bath.

Shiro averted his eyes but not before he’d seen the full length of his body, powerful even now. He’d put on some weight since they’d come here, he was no longer so painfully pale. His skin was marked by a rough tracery of healed over scars but he seemed healthy and strong again, standing tall and proud as the young man draped a large towel over his shoulders.

“Thank you Alimar,” Lotor said.

“Of course, Sire,” the young man demurred, smiling flirtatiously. “Perhaps I could- attend you in your quarters?

Shiro didn’t hear Lotor’s answer as the two of them walked out so he sank further into the bath instead, flushed and hopelessly aroused. It was probably some kind of faux pas to be hard in the healing baths so Shiro stood and grabbed a towel to wrap around himself before going back to his quarters. The whole time he had Alimar’s words ringing through his ears- _Perhaps I could attend you in your quarters?_

What would Lotor say to that? Would he refuse or would he take the young man to bed as he so clearly wanted him to?

Shiro shivered as he dropped to the sheets and pulled the towel open, feeling guilt and desire overwhelm him as he took his cock in hand. He turned to press his face into the pillows, thinking about Lotor taking the young man in his arms and kissing him firmly. He’d be strong and sure, he’d know exactly what he was doing as he stroked the Altean’s chest and sides before slipping his hands down to touch his cock and then lower to push his fingers inside-

“Oh fuck,” Shiro whispered, closing his eyes. He wasn’t thinking about the Altean any more, all he could think about was Lotor kissing him and pushing his hot hands into Shiro’s pants and-

“Fuck,” Shiro cursed, speeding up. He was so fucked. He pressed his metal hand to his face to stifle the sounds he was making as he imagined Lotor fucking him, slow and easy, calling him _Shiro_ as he looked down at him with his short hair a mess over his face.

“Ah-” Shiro gasped, biting down on his metal fingers as he pushed himself towards orgasm, spilling over his stomach and chest.

“Oh fuck,” he muttered, looking down at the mess he’d made. “ _Fuck_.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

* * *

 

 

“You’re not allergic to any foodstuffs- are you, Master Shiro?” Amra asked.

“Not as far as I know,” Shiro said, going through his stretches. “Why?”

“For the banquet, of course!”

“The banquet?” Shiro asked, straightening.

“Of course,” Amra said, beaming at him. “Now that Prince Lotor is well enough it’s time we welcome him home properly. As his Praetus you’ll be seated at his right hand. We know his tastes well but we couldn’t serve him anything you wouldn’t be able eat, seeing as how you’ll be eating from his plate.”

“Uh- what?” Shiro asked, blushing.

“It’s only traditional,” Amra said. “Galra traditions, of course. This is the first time Prince Lotor has brought a companion, much less his Praetus! We want to ensure we do this right, to honor both of you.”

“You know I’m not really- I mean. I think I can have my own plate,” Shiro said slowly.

Amra laughed like he’d just told the funniest joke in the world. “Of course, Master Shiro,” she said with a grin. “Would you like any assistance getting dressed later?”

“I can get dressed just fine on my own,” Shiro said, blushing at the thought.

“Certainly, Master Shiro,” she said. “I’ll have your feast clothes brought to your rooms. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.”

“Thanks?” Shiro said to her retreating back. He couldn’t really focus on his drills after that and went to wash earlier than usual. He read in the library for a while until an Altean servant came by and waggled her eyebrows at him, asking why he wasn’t getting ready, and he trudged back to his quarters, feeling nervous.

There was a set of clothing laid out on his bed and Shiro figured this was what Amra had been talking about. He pulled on the world’s tightest pair of high-waisted black trousers and a set of painfully shiny boots before contemplating the other garments laid out before him. There was a short gossamer tank top that was so thin it may as well have been nothing at all and a knee-length tailored black coat that fit him well in the shoulders and sleeves but was so narrowly cut he couldn’t get any of the buttons closed over his chest.

He had no idea what a Praetus was but as he looked at himself in the mirror he felt like he was dressed more like a- a _concubine_ than anything else. But those were the clothes that had been left for him, and he didn’t want to insult their hospitality, so-

As he left the room Amra walked by and took one look at him before pushing him back inside.

“That won’t do,” she said, tutting at him.

“Is something wrong? Did I forget something?”

“Of course, Master Shiro!” she said with a frown. “You’ve neglected to wear Prince Lotor’s insignia!”

“What?” Shiro managed as she went to the desk and picked up a nondescript box he hadn’t noticed before.

“I’ll help you,” she said with a warm smile and gestured for him to sit down before pulling a comb out of her pocket and brushing his hair back. “Here you are,” she said, setting a gold circlet over his brow marked by a blue and orange star in the center. “If I may say so- you look quite dashing, Master Shiro.”

“Uh, thanks,” he managed, blushing.

“Shall I show you to the feast?”

“I can find my own way. Thank you, Amra.”

She nodded before leaving and once again Shiro found himself wondering what the hell he was even doing here. He didn’t think he could hide in his rooms without causing the Alteans offense so he steeled himself and went to the main banquet hall.

He was nearly there when he heard voices from the next hallway and paused, listening.

“It really wouldn’t be proper,” he heard Lotor saying.

“No one would have to know-” and was that- the young Altean from before? Alimar?

Shiro turned the corner and saw the two of them almost hidden away in an alcove and Alimar with his back pressed against a wall and his hands fisted in Lotor’s robes. Lotor had his hands down at his sides, not touching the young man at all. If anything he was trying to lean away from him.

“Prince Lotor?” Shiro asked pointedly and they both looked at him, Alimar with annoyance and Lotor with something like relief.

“I’d better go,” Alimar muttered and practically ran away as Lotor straightened, adjusting his robes. He looked particularly regal draped in something like a dark purple cloak with the sides deeply slashed to allow him to move his arms unimpeded. The narrowly cut dark tunic he wore beneath had a plunging v-shaped neckline, revealing a tantalizing view of his bare chest. His short hair had been trimmed into a neater style and his brow was adorned with a circlet much like Shiro’s.

Shiro couldn’t help staring at the gold necklaces catching the light against his skin, the rings glittering on his fingers. He’d never seen Lotor wearing jewelry or any kind of finery, although Shiro supposed he’d only ever seen Lotor in battle armor before all this.

He wasn’t sure if he imagined the blush over Lotor’s cheeks as he ran his eyes down Shiro’s body but he found himself smiling all the same as he walked closer.

“What exactly are my Praetus duties here?” Shiro asked. “Am I supposed to rescue you from your suitors?”

“Generally I can rescue myself,” Lotor said with a small smile. “Generally they’re not as… _persistent_ as Alimar.”

“He is very handsome,” Shiro said carefully as they continued towards the banquet hall together.

Lotor laughed. “That may be so- but last I saw him he was just a child begging to ride on my shoulders. I wiped his snot for him when he had a bout of Tirolian Fever. He vomited on me, Shiro- it was blue and full of chunks. I find it difficult to reconcile those images with the young man trying to seduce me now.”

Shiro laughed too, mostly at the image of a sick child throwing up on Lotor.

They stopped in front of a set of elaborate doors and Shiro suddenly felt a little nervous. “Is there something I should do? Or not do?” he asked. “They didn’t really explain the protocol, or-”

“Relax, Shiro,” Lotor said easily. “It’s a banquet, it’s meant to be fun.”

Shiro’s eyes widened when Lotor opened the doors, taking in the hundreds of Alteans before them sitting on cushions around low feast tables. The hall grew respectfully silent as they walked in and Lotor nodded magnanimously before leading the way to the head table.

“Oh god,” Shiro groaned quietly as he saw the place settings. “I guess Amra wasn’t kidding about me eating off your plate.”

“And drinking from my cup,” Lotor said like there wasn’t anything strange about that at all. “It’s only traditional.”

When Shiro looked over at him Lotor was grinning like he was having the time of his life.

“Alright, who do they think I am?” Shiro asked as he settled on the cushion next to him. “What is a _Praetus_?”

Lotor laughed. He was having way too much fun with this. “It’s a Galra term,” he explained. “Short for Praetorian Guard, for when an Emperor takes a commoner as a- well, as a lover I suppose. There are other implications as well, the role is something between bodyguard and consort- the Praetus is seen as the Emperor’s right hand and can act in their stead, especially when it comes to challenge by combat. It’s a position of great honor.”

“Right,” Shiro muttered, flushing.

A server carrying a pitcher came by to fill Lotor’s cup with what Shiro assumed was alcohol so he picked it up and took a deep swig. It seemed to be a kind of wine, sweet and fragrant. Before he could set it back down Lotor took it out of his hand and drank as well. The server winked.

“So what you’re saying is they all think we’re fucking,” Shiro said, his voice coming out a little strangled.

“Don’t be so crass,” Lotor said. “I’m sure they think we make love.”

“Great,” Shiro said, blushing even harder. “That’s not better.”

“In my experience it is significantly better,” Lotor said mildly and Shiro reached out to drink again. “There’s no need to be so nervous, Shiro. It’s not as though we’re expected to make a public demonstration.”

Shiro choked on the wine and set the cup down, coughing. The thought of it alone was enough to make his dick stir and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Lotor laughed, patting him firmly on the back. “Easy, Shiro. After the way you brought me here- well. They all just assumed and it’s a little late to go back on it now. Besides, I find having a Praetus gives me a convenient excuse to avoid certain uncomfortable situations. If you could play along that would be of great help to me.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“Relax and enjoy the banquet,” Lotor said easily. “Try not to choke on anything else.”

“I’ll do my best,” Shiro said, still blushing furiously.

He was glad for the distraction when a group of musicians arranged themselves in front of the head table and started performing an epic musical poem which seemed to be a highly embellished account of the founding of New Altea. Servers entered with steaming platters of food, stopping first at the head table to let Lotor select the best cuts of everything before moving down through the rest of the hall.

Shiro was shy at first about having to share a plate with Lotor but soon enough that feeling faded. Everything he tasted was delicious, and the musicians were very good, and the wine flowed freely- and after a while Shiro found himself relaxing.

Lotor seemed to be perfectly at ease and he kept up a comfortable stream of conversation, telling Shiro about the food, the hall, the guests. He seemed to know a bit about everything and everyone, leaning close to whisper silly secrets in Shiro’s ear.

“I never knew you were such a gossip!” Shiro laughed when Lotor told him about Amra’s torrid affair with the head librarian.

“Knowledge is power, Shiro,” Lotor said seriously but he was flushed and pink-cheeked by then, grinning easily, and Shiro just laughed and nudged him in the side with his elbow.

Their cup never ran dry and as the evening went on Shiro found himself feeling more and more dizzy, like he was floating. He felt amazing, all his worries far away. His skin was tingling pleasantly, his body warm all over. He found himself sharing his own stories, of pranks he’d pulled as a child, of his time at the Garrison and various silly antics the Paladins had gotten up to.

Lotor seemed to be touching him more as it got later, whispering into his ear, stroking his thigh to get his attention, tapping his hand before pointing to delicacies on his plate that Shiro had yet to try. Shiro couldn’t help leaning into his warmth and pressing closer to his side. He’d never expected to be here like this but now that he was he couldn’t seem to get enough.

He wasn’t exactly drunk by the time he found himself escorting Lotor back to his rooms but he still felt like he was floating, like his life was easy and _good_ for once, at last.

When Lotor opened the door to his chambers Shiro followed him inside without quite making the decision to.

“Shiro?” Lotor asked uncertainly, turning to face him.

He felt like he was watching himself from outside his body as he raised his hands to cradle Lotor’s face and pulled him down for a kiss. The sensation of Lotor’s hot lips against his own made him feel suddenly present in his skin and he gasped, stumbling closer. Lotor wrapped his arms around his waist and they moved backwards until they fell to the bed, still tangled together.

Lotor helped him push the coat down and off and he moaned as Lotor bent to kiss and bite at his neck, sliding his hands up under the sheer tank top and gently raking his fingernails down Shiro’s chest.

“Come back up here,” Shiro murmured, pulling Lotor back to kiss his mouth as he shoved the cloak away and fumbled at the buttons of the shirt he wore underneath. He slid his hands under only to have Lotor grab his wrists and push him away.

“Turn around,” Lotor said, breathing hard.

Shiro did as he was told, moaning as Lotor yanked his boots off and slid his hands under his body to open the fastenings of his trousers before taking them off too.

“Oh fuck,” he whispered as he felt Lotor’s weight on top of him, his naked chest pressing against his back while he ran his hands down Shiro’s sides.

Lotor sank a hand into his hair to hold him still as he kissed the side of Shiro’s neck, holding him down so he couldn’t squirm away. Shiro tightened his hands into the sheets, fighting not to hump the bed to try and get a bit of friction.

“Please,” Shiro said, burning up with desire. “Please- I need-”

“Easy, my _Praetus,_ ” Lotor said against his ear. “I’ll give you what you need- in due time.”

Shiro moaned, spreading his thighs wider in the hope that Lotor would just- get the message and _touch_ him.

“So eager for me,” Lotor whispered, dragging his hand down Shiro’s side. Shiro couldn’t help the whimper that escaped his lips. “Tell me,” Lotor continued, “tell me what you want.”

“I want you to touch me,” Shiro managed.

“I’m touching you now,” Lotor whispered, biting at his earlobe.

“Ah!” Shiro cried out, arching up against him.

“Mmm,” Lotor hummed, pressing his cloth-clad erection against Shiro’s ass. “Tell me, Shiro. Tell me what you want me to do to you next.”

“Touch my- my cock,” Shiro managed and gasped as Lotor slid a hand under him to do just that.

“Arch up, love,” Lotor murmured sweetly and Shiro shivered before angling his hips up higher off the bed. “That’s it,” Lotor said, stroking him slowly. “What else?”

“Oh fuck,” Shiro groaned, pushing his face into the pillows, completely overwhelmed by Lotor’s hand stroking him, Lotor’s chest pressed against his back.

“Is this enough for you?” Lotor asked and Shiro could hear the smile in his voice. Lotor altered his grip so he was barely touching Shiro, only ghosting his hand over his cock.

Shiro groaned, trying to push closer only to have Lotor pull away.

“Tell me,” Lotor whispered. “Tell me what you want.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Shiro breathed out shakily. His head was spinning and he was burning up, he’d take anything at this point. “I want you to fuck me,” he forced out at last, shivering uncontrollably.

“I think I could manage that,” Lotor said with a dark laugh. “Here?” he asked, moving his fingers to rub against Shiro’s hole while Shiro could only gasp and push his face further into the pillows. Even that little was impossibly good, his thighs were already shaking as he tried to keep himself propped up on the bed.

Lotor pulled away for a moment and when he returned his fingers were slick with oil. “Like this?” he asked, pushing a finger just inside.

“Oh fuck,” Shiro groaned, shifting to push back against him, trying to get more. Lotor laughed again and angled his hand to press deeper, sliding his finger inside. And then he just- _stopped_ and Shiro could only pant at the feeling, invaded and taken and yet not quite enough.

“Perhaps you should do some of the work, love,” Lotor whispered and Shiro shifted to spread his knees further apart, moaning as he moved to push back against Lotor inside him.

“That’s it,” Lotor said, “just like that, go on.”

Shiro felt wild with desire as he moved to thrust himself back on Lotor’s finger, fucking himself wantonly. “More-” he breathed out, shuddering. “Please- give me more.”

“Easy,” Lotor said, sounding impossibly pleased as he added another finger and Shiro groaned at the stretch inside him. It had been so long since he’d done this- but it was so good and he arched his hips up, trying to get Lotor’s fingers down exactly where he wanted them.

“Could you-” he breathed out.

“Anything,” Lotor murmured. “Just tell me- tell me what you want-”

“Curl your fingers down,” Shiro managed and had to shut his eyes against the sparks that filled his vision when Lotor did just that, stroking his prostate. He shivered and clenched, pushing back against him. Lotor hummed with pleasure, doing it again and again.

“Oh- oh fuck-” Shiro moaned.

“Can you take another?” Lotor asked, biting at his shoulder.

“Yes,” Shiro breathed out. “Yes- _please_. Come on, just- Ah!” he shuddered and whimpered as Lotor added another finger, trying to push his leaking cock against the sheets to get even a little relief.

“None of that,” Lotor said firmly, pulling his hips up further. “Not yet, not until I’m inside you.”

“Come _on,_ then” Shiro bit out. “Lotor- _please_!”

“Not yet,” he said as he set his other hand to grip the back of Shiro’s neck, pushing him firmly into the sheets. Shiro could only tremble, thighs spread impossibly wide as Lotor thrust his fingers into him, rubbing his prostate mercilessly.

“I’m ready,” Shiro begged. “I’m ready, please-”

“Keep begging,” Lotor said, “I like to hear it. If you beg me sweetly enough maybe I’ll give you my cock.”

“Oh fuck,” Shiro managed, fisting his hands into the sheets and pushing back against him. “Oh fuck- oh please. Lotor _please_ \- I want you, I want you inside me- _please_. Please don’t make me wait anymore-”

“Shh,” Lotor said, bending down to pull his fingers out. “You’re ready for me?”

“Yes! I’ve _been_ ready- please just-”

“Easy, Praetus, relax for me now.”

Shiro shivered and let out a shaking sigh as he felt Lotor’s cock press into him, huge and slick. His head was swimming with arousal already but somehow this only made it worse. He whimpered and shifted to take in more, faster, but Lotor was holding him so firmly there was nowhere to go. He moaned and finally gave into the sensation, relaxing against the bed as he felt totally open and taken and filled.

“You feel so good around me,” Lotor whispered and started to move, rocking into him.

Shiro screwed his eyes shut, gasping for breath.

“Help me,” Lotor said and Shiro gathered his strength and started moving against him, making wordless sounds of pleasure with every thrust.

“Touch me,” Shiro moaned. “Please- please touch me.”

“Yes, love,” Lotor whispered, curling down over his back and sliding his hand under Shiro’s body to stroke his cock.

He nearly screamed then, it was so good. He was saying something but he couldn’t begin to know what as he shoved back against Lotor’s cock and pushed into his hand.

“That’s it, there you are,” Lotor was saying and Shiro couldn’t focus on anything beyond the bliss of Lotor moving inside him, his naked chest slick with sweat sliding over his back, his hand stroking his cock just right.

“Please,” he breathed out, “please, I’m close-”

“Come for me, Praetus,” Lotor murmured, “come for me, Shiro.”

Shiro stilled, overcome by his orgasm raging through him, overcome by Lotor still thrusting into him, still touching him. “Ah!” he gasped, his hips stuttering under the onslaught for a few impossibly long moments before he stilled, collapsing bonelessly against the sheets.

He was only distantly aware of Lotor still moving inside him, gripping his hips tight and moaning out his own release before he felt Lotor’s weight falling fully over him, pushing him down into the bed.

He sighed as Lotor pulled out and dropped down to the bed beside him. Shiro shifted to turn over to his back and drew Lotor into his arms.

“Alright?” Shiro asked, running his fingers through Lotor’s hair.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Lotor mumbled against his shoulder.

“If you want,” Shiro said with a laugh, holding him closer. “If you get to call me Praetus, what am I supposed to call you?” he asked.

Lotor stiffened and all of a sudden Shiro felt nervous, wishing he hadn’t asked. He’d felt so close to him before, but once again there was a chasm opening up between them.

“Emperor,” Lotor said quietly. “Although that’s not something I’ll ever be now.”

“Anything can happen,” Shiro said, tightening his arms around him. He didn’t miss Lotor’s contented sigh and closed his eyes, still gently stroking Lotor’s hair.

 

* * *

 

Shiro wasn’t sure what had woken him. He felt warm and comfortable, pressed into the soft bed by a firm weight. As he grew more aware of his body he realized the weight was Lotor lying half on top of him, his head tucked under Shiro’s chin and his hair tickling Shiro’s nose. He was breathing slow and deep, still fast asleep.

Shiro opened his eyes only to freeze as he saw Romelle standing over the bed. She raised her finger to her lips before carefully setting a small brown jar down on the nightstand.

“For his back,” she whispered with a smile. “Twice daily, in the morning and before bed. Don’t let him convince you he doesn’t need it. Without it the scar tissue will grow tight and restrict his range of motion, and then he’ll be complaining endlessly.”

“Thank you,” Shiro whispered back, blushing a little at being caught in this compromising position. Then again- all the Alteans had thought they were together this whole time and it was only now he was catching up to their expectations of him at last.

“Rest well,” Romelle added with a nod before leaving.

Shiro suddenly found himself entirely too awake. Lotor was still wearing a shirt, even though it was completely unbuttoned over his chest, and Shiro carefully slid his hands under it, stroking his back. His skin was a mess of rough knotted scar tissue and Shiro couldn’t help frowning as he remembered the broadcasts and the stink of illness in the bedroom of the stolen Blade of Marmora ship.

Last night he hadn’t given their position a second thought but now he wondered- was Lotor embarrassed of this after everything? Was he afraid of Shiro seeing, knowing how bad it was?

He pulled his hands back out from under Lotor’s shirt to rest them over the fabric instead. He didn’t want him to wake only to find Shiro touching him in a way he didn’t like, didn’t want to risk whatever warm delicate thing was growing between them.

Lotor stirred, frowning as he woke slowly.

“Morning,” Shiro whispered, brushing his hair back from his face.

Lotor looked up with confusion and then blushed, shifting away. Shiro tried not to wince with disappointment as he felt Lotor’s warmth leave him.

“Good morning, Shiro,” Lotor said slowly. He sat up and tugged the shirt closed over his chest nervously.

“You called me _Praetus_ last night,” Shiro said with a small smile.

Lotor looked away, running his fingers through his hair. “I- I said a lot of things last night. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“No,” Shiro laughed, reaching out to take Lotor gently by the wrist. “Come back to bed, _love_ ,” he said.

Lotor’s blush grew even brighter and his shoulders stiffened but Shiro tugged on his wrist and after a moment he relented, laying back down. Shiro guided Lotor to rest his head in the crook of his shoulder, stroking his hair gently.

“Romelle came by,” Shiro said. “She left a salve for your back. She said to apply it in the morning and before bed- I could do it for you now.”

“No,” Lotor said, tensing. “It’s fine. I’ll get it myself later.”

“She mentioned you might try to talk me out of it,” Shiro said, trying to keep his tone light. “I’ll make it quick, I promise.”

“Thank you, but I’ll be fine.”

“Lotor-” Shiro said firmly. “You had your dick up my ass last night and this is what you’re shy about? You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know I’ve already seen-”

“A lot of people have _seen_ ,” Lotor hissed, pulling away from him and sitting up. “That doesn’t mean I- That doesn’t mean I don’t still-” he sighed sharply. He lowered his feet to the ground like he was about to stand then paused, sitting with his head bowed and his shoulders high and tense.

“It’s not just a wound like any other, not just a scar,” he said quietly. “Public whipping is a punishment reserved for- for runaway _slaves_. Everything my father ordered done to me was calculated to demean and insult me in the worst possible way.”

Shiro sat up too, not knowing what to say to that. He wanted to reach out but was suddenly too afraid to risk it.

“I’ll have someone else do it,” Lotor said. “Later. You’ve already- you’ve already done enough.”

“Lotor,” Shiro said carefully. “It would be- a comfort for me to do this for you."

Lotor’s hands tightened over the sheets, if anything he only looked more tense.

“I was with you on that ship, watching you slowly dying from your wounds. It was awful. It would bring me comfort to see that you’re whole, and to do something to help you heal.” Shiro thought maybe it would bring Lotor comfort as well, but he knew by now approaching it from that angle would never work to convince him. “You can get someone else to do it if that’s what you really want. But someone has to, and I’d like it to be me.”

Lotor stayed silent, trembling a little, and Shiro grabbed the jar before shifting closer.

“Alright?” he asked, gently taking him by the upper arms.

Lotor nodded faintly and Shiro slowly slid the shirt down his shoulders, getting a look at his back for the first time since the ship.

The scarring was horrific, his whole back was a pitted and rough mess, the skin knotted and tough. But Shiro couldn’t help smiling at the impossible improvement over what had been. He opened the jar, dipping the fingers of his left hand into the salve. It was cool to the touch and smelled like something crisp and clean, like the air before a heavy snow.

“I’m going to start now,” he said quietly.

Lotor inhaled sharply at the first touch and Shiro pulled back.

“Does it hurt?”

“No,” Lotor said. “It doesn’t feel like anything, really. There was too much nerve damage. It’s just- cold.”

“Alright, I’m going to keep going then,” Shiro said, trying to rub the salve between his fingers to warm it up a little before smoothing it over Lotor’s back. He moved with slow even motions, not rushing but not lingering either, doing his best to be thorough.

Once he was finished he pressed a kiss to the back of Lotor’s shoulder. “All done,” he whispered against his skin. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“No,” Lotor said and stood a little shakily. He rolled his shoulders, doing a few careful stretches. When he turned to look back at Shiro he seemed more at ease, less haunted and more like the sly prince they’d first met so long ago. “Would you care to join me for breakfast, _Praetus_?” he asked lightly and Shiro couldn’t help the warm arousal pooling in his gut at the word, thinking about the previous night.

“Yeah,” he said with a smile and stood to pull Lotor down for a deep kiss.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

* * *

 

 

Shiro found himself spending more and more nights in Lotor’s quarters, until one evening he found that his things, what few he had, had been moved into Lotor’s bedroom.

“They’ve been trying to move you in here ever since I woke up,” Lotor observed mildly when Shiro mentioned it. “I suppose it’s a miracle they restrained themselves this long. Do you mind? It’s no trouble if you want to keep your own rooms.”

Shiro shrugged. “I don’t mind. Just makes it easier to do this,” he said, pulling open Lotor’s robe and pressing kisses down his chest.

The sex was always amazing, even despite the various limitations. Lotor never had his back to Shiro when they were together, he preferred being on top no matter who was fucking who. He didn’t like to be held down, or stroked too gently, or kissed on the neck, or touched by Shiro’s prosthetic hand. But Shiro was only too happy to oblige, and that left plenty of other things for them to do that kept them busy long into the night.

They started sparring together, and although Lotor still couldn’t hold a weapon in his right hand for more than a few minutes at a time he was more than a worthy opponent. He put on muscle mass but he was still thinner than before, more lean, but Shiro supposed that would return in time as well.

When they weren’t together Shiro hung around the engineers, listening to Bandor explain his latest projects with interest, or wandering in the gardens, or reading in the library. He wasn’t entirely sure what Lotor got up to. He knew Lotor made a point of going to the healing baths at least once a day and periodically he had meetings with the Altean Elders. Sometimes Shiro came by him meditating surrounded by Altean Alchemists or Healers, three or four of them sitting in a loose circle with their fingers pressed to his hands or shoulders, all glowing softly.

It was peaceful and idyllic and slowly Shiro realized he was stalling. He’d given himself permission to enjoy himself on New Altea as long as he had the excuse that Lotor was recovering. But it seemed Lotor was about as recovered as he’d ever get and now Shiro’s thoughts were drawn back to the war, the Paladins.

He was changing into his training clothes one afternoon when his gaze fell to the book where he’d been faithfully tallying the days. He frowned as he stared at it. He usually marked it in the mornings but he had a feeling like maybe he’d forgotten to do it today. For some reason his heart started beating faster as he drew closer and opened the pages to his bookmark.

It was nestled between pages seventy one and seventy two, and- that couldn’t be right. He flipped back through the pages, staring in horror at the tally marks. There were ten neat lines at the bottom of each page, and if they ended on page seventy two that was seven hundred and twenty days- nearly _two years_.

He dropped the book in shock and stepped back, running a hand through his hair. It wasn’t possible- or was it? It felt like they’d only been here a month, maybe two- but unless someone had been sneaking in here to mark his book it had been significantly longer than that.

How could he have spent _two years_ here without realizing it? He felt dizzy and sick, suddenly afraid. This was all too good to be true, wasn’t it? An idyllic hidden colony, a world away from war, grief, and stress, shrouded in eternal summer. Was this all some kind of dream, or hallucination? Had he gone mad? Was he really in some lab, being experimented on while his mind was hooked into some kind of hologram, or- or-

“Get it together,” he muttered to himself and left the rooms, looking for Lotor. He found him in the orchard, lounging on the grass in the shade of a fruit tree as he read a book.

“Shiro,” he said with a smile, looking up at his approach. He tensed at Shiro’s expression and pushed himself up into a sitting position. “What’s the matter?”

“Lotor, how long have we been here?” Shiro asked.

Lotor frowned faintly. “I’m not certain. It’s impossible to know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“This place, New Altea, it’s hidden in an area which distorts space time. What does it matter?”

“What does it _matter_?” Shiro demanded, voice rising a little desperately. “How much time has passed outside?”

“I couldn’t say.”

“Oh my god,” Shiro muttered, sitting down beside Lotor. Had it been two years since he’d left his team? Anything could have happened in all that time, for all Shiro knew his friends could be long dead. “What are we going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean- Zarkon is still out there! The war is still out there! We have to go back!”

“Ah,” Lotor said quietly, looking away. “I’m sorry, Shiro. I thought you understood my intentions here, but I see that isn’t the case. I’m not going back. I intend to stay here, forever.”

Shiro’s mouth dropped open in shock, he felt like he’d just had the breath knocked out of him. “You can’t mean that,” he said. “You can’t just- give up like that.”

“I’m not _just_ giving up,” Lotor said sharply, glaring at him. “I spent ten thousand years looking for a way to stop my father, and in the end I failed- spectacularly and painfully for all to see. It’s over, I’m finished. I just want to rest. I think I’ve earned as much by now.”

“Maybe we can still put you on the throne,” Shiro tried. “You’re still Zarkon’s son, still the Prince-”

“I’m not _anything_ anymore,” Lotor interrupted. “It was always unlikely I’d take the throne, from the beginning they all saw me as a mangy cur, a half-breed weakling. To make matters worse, I was exiled- and even then there was still hope. But now, after the way I was publicly demeaned and degraded no Galra will follow me. To do so would bring dishonor on them, when the Emperor so clearly made the point that I was nothing to him but an- an _animal_ , a dog, a slave.

“And even if through some outlandish and unlikely chance I were to actually _become_ Emperor my reign would be over at the first challenger. I cannot fight, Shiro. I will never regain the use of my sword arm like I had before.”

“There has to be another way,” Shiro said desperately.

“What other way?” Lotor demanded, voice rising angrily. “What miracle do you expect me to perform? How much more must I suffer? I’ve lost everything that made me strong! I have no ships- no army- _nothing!_ ”

“Prince Lotor.”

They both startled and turned to see one of the Altean elders standing close by, the one that had first greeted Shiro’s ship.

“I think it’s time we showed you something,” the Altean said.

 

* * *

 

The Altean elder, Avok, led them to a transport shuttle, remaining frustratingly closed-lipped about where he was taking them. The ride was tense; Shiro was anxious at the sudden realization of how much time he’d wasted. Lotor seemed angry at what Shiro had said, the demands he’d made.

“We’ve arrived,” Avok said.

They stepped out of the shuttle to find themselves in a large empty field, but as Avok typed something into a small handheld device a section of grass began to rise, revealing a lift that would take them below ground.

“Please- Sire, Praetus,” he said, pointing towards the lift. The three of them stepped inside and the door closed behind them, sealing them off from the outside world. Shiro’s heart was pounding in his chest as the lift took them deep into the earth and when the doors finally opened he couldn’t hold back a gasp. Lotor stiffened beside him, breathing harshly.

“What is this?” he whispered.

They were standing in something like a gigantic hangar, but instead of ships it was filled with gleaming mecha suits, each at least half the size of Voltron. There was a group of engineers waiting to greet them, Bandor at their head.

“Sire,” he said, bowing respectfully.

“What is all this?” Lotor demanded. “You’re- you’re not fighters! I never meant for you to-”

“Sire,” Avok interrupted. “You are correct- we are not fighters. We are a race of diplomats, scientists, alchemists, engineers. We appreciate all you’ve done for us, but surely you didn’t expect us to simply bask in paradise while the universe suffered Zarkon’s reign?

“We knew this day would come, that one day we’d be called upon to join the fight. We knew that one day you would need us. We are ready now, our strength is yours.”

“How many are there?” Shiro asked, his heart thrumming with hope.

“As of now we’ve built nearly three thousand suits,” Avok said.

“And this base,” Lotor spoke up. “This base is a ship as well, isn’t it.”

“Yes, Sire. The base is a support cruiser fully equipped with ion cannons and Teleduv technology.”

“Teleduv technology?” Lotor demanded. “But you’d need scaultrite for that-” he broke off sharply. “You’ve been launching away missions. It’s too dangerous! What if someone followed you back here? You can’t just-”

“Sire,” Avok said with a small smile, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Please. Let us help you.”

Lotor ran a hand through his hair nervously, falling silent. Shiro couldn’t interpret the expression on his face as he looked at the mecha suits before them.

“We’ve reverse engineered the cloaking technology of the ship you came in,” Bandor spoke up, his eyes glittering with excitement. “We’ve retrofitted all the suits with it, as well as the cruiser. We have more trained pilots than ships, and we’re ready to launch within a few vargas of your command.”

“If we launch a surprise attack this may be enough, but we’d still need to take on Haggar,” Lotor said slowly, his skin pale and his fingers trembling faintly at his sides. “I’d thought perhaps- I thought could turn the Komar against her. I know the basics of it, and the training I’ve received here from the alchemists may be enough. But I’d need the technology to support it-”

“I know, Sire,” Avok said gently. “I know. We’ve taken that into account.”

Lotor looked down, gritting his teeth. He swiped at his eyes and Shiro stepped closer.

“Hey,” he said, putting his hand on Lotor’s shoulder.

“Don’t _touch_ me,” Lotor hissed, jerking away. “This is exactly what you wanted- to drag me right back into a war I want no part of. I hope you’re happy now, Shiro. I hope you’re all happy.” He turned and stormed out, leaving them looking after him.

“I thought he’d be pleased,” Avok said uncertainly.

“He’s-” Shiro started and broke off. “He is. He’s just- I’ll talk to him. Thank you, for everything.”

“Yes, Praetus,” Avok said with a nod and Shiro made his way after Lotor.

It took a few hours but in the end he found Lotor in the orchard, sitting with his back pressed against a tree and his arms wrapped around his knees.

“Lotor,” he said carefully.

“What,” he bit out, not looking at him.

“Are you alright?”

“ _No_ ,” he said vehemently. “I’m not alright. I’m angry, and I’m-”

“I’m scared,” Shiro said and Lotor looked up at him at last. “I’m _terrified_. I want nothing more than to just- hide here with you, forever. But I can’t leave the others to fend for themselves. Not when we have a real chance to turn the tide.”

Lotor sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“We need you,” Shiro said, drawing closer. “But you won’t have to be alone anymore, I promise. I’ll be with you. I’ll be your Praetus, Lotor. For real, not just in name.”

“You have no idea what you’re offering,” Lotor scoffed.

“I know enough to offer it. I’m serious about this.” He sat beside Lotor and took his hand, pulling it towards him to press a kiss over his knuckles. “We can do it. Together.”

“I thought I was done with this,” Lotor said quietly.

“Almost,” Shiro smiled up at him. “Soon, my Emperor. Soon.”

 

* * *

 

A solemn hush fell over the palace and even the sun itself seemed less bright, the air carrying an unfamiliar faint shivering chill.

Amra was quiet as she brought two armored space suits to Lotor’s suite. Shiro dressed first, his skin tingling at the now unfamiliar sensation of armor wrapping tightly around him. The suit was black and sleek, marked only with Lotor’s orange and blue star.

He helped Lotor into his matching armor after, taking the time to run his hands over his body and set each piece carefully into place. With every new armored plate that encased him he seemed to be building himself up, locking himself away.

By the time Shiro finished and stepped back he could barely recognize Lotor anymore. Just the past night they’d had desperate sex in this very room and lay curled together after, whispering about their hopes and fears until they fell asleep in each other’s arms. It had been mere hours ago and yet it was a lifetime away. Shiro couldn’t recognize that Lotor in the man standing before him now.

He placed the circlet over Lotor’s brow and draped the cloak from the night of the banquet over his shoulders, straightening the rich fabric so it fell smoothly down his body.

“It’s time,” Lotor said, his eyes blank and his voice devoid of emotion.

Shiro followed Lotor to the ship in a daze, his ears ringing loudly. He stayed at his shoulder as they descended into the hangar and followed him to a raised dais before facing the thousands of Alteans assembled before them, pilots and mechanics and engineers, Alchemists and Healers, support staff of all kinds- all here ready to go to war.

“I never expected to come to you like this,” Lotor said to the waiting Alteans, his voice carrying through the cavernous hangar. “I never intended to carry you into the jaws of hell. And yet- I stand before you now as your executioner.

“You have chosen to give your lives into my hands, and I have taken them. You stand before me already dead- and so you have nothing to fear from death. From this moment on, this is not a war ship but a funeral ship, for all of us as well as for our enemies.”

Shiro shivered. He’d been expecting a more rousing speech from Lotor, but as he looked at the Alteans in the crowd he saw something like relief in their eyes. A few of them were even smiling grimly.

“We cannot fail- no matter what may come we will take our enemies with us in our funeral pyre and leave the universe cleansed. Even Zarkon himself cannot stand against an army of wights. We will haunt and harry him to the very edges of the universe if we have to, but in the end we’ll drag him to hell with us. Are you with me?”

The Alteans saluted and made a sound like a wordless shout that echoed eerily through the hall.

Lotor nodded and a low mournful drumbeat rang out through the hangar. It was slow and resonant, shaking through Shiro’s body.

“To your stations,” Lotor ordered and left the dais.

The sound of the drum echoed through the ship, broadcast over the comms, and Shiro felt his heartbeat slowing to match it and calm stealing over him.

“That wasn’t the sort of speech I was expecting,” he said to Lotor as they walked to the bridge.

“This is how Alteans go to war,” he said. “Not for glory or conquest but for necessity and in full understanding that they go to their deaths.”

They walked onto the bridge and Shiro paused, looking around. It looked a lot like the bridge of the Castle of Lions, but there was a set of steps leading down past the main viewscreen to a thin walkway that ended in a round platform, and beyond it- an open portal that gave Shiro vertigo. He supposed there must have been a forcefield or something to keep the area closed off from the emptiness of space, but if there was it wasn’t visible to the naked eye.

“You’ll command my fleet, Praetus,” Lotor said solemnly. “We’ll only have one chance at this. We have to destroy Zarkon while we still have the element of surprise, afterwards he’ll have the druids find a way to uncloak our ships. We must put everything into this and make it a blow the Empire cannot recover from.”

“I understand,” Shiro said.

Another sound joined the drums, a mournful singing. All the Alteans on the ship started humming or singing along in a language Shiro didn’t know.

“What is this?” he asked quietly, looking around.

“Our elegy,” Lotor said with a small smile. “Welcome to the world of the dead, Shiro.” He pressed a kiss to Shiro’s lips and turned away, walking out to stand on the platform at the head of the ship, surrounded by nothing but empty space. Six Altean Alchemists took position on the walkway around him, waiting with their hands at their sides.

“Begin the ignition sequence,” Lotor said. “Ready the Teleduv.”

Shiro could only stand in the middle of the bridge as the Altean crew sprung into motion. The singing was louder now, louder even than the rumble of the ship’s engines as it started slowly rising out of the ground.

The sun was setting over New Altea when the ship emerged into the open air, and most of the colony’s inhabitants had come to watch the launch, standing quietly. Shiro wondered if they could hear the drums, they all seemed to be swaying in time to that slow measured beat. Some of them were singing too, tears streaming down their faces, and then they were leaving the atmosphere and the colony behind.

“Are the mecha pilots clear for launch?” Shiro asked one of the officers on the bridge. She nodded and he turned to face forward, looking at Lotor standing alone on his platform, and past him the open void of space.

“Engage cloaking,” Shiro ordered and waited until he saw the faint rippling of the shields around them. “Open the portal.”

Avok placed his hands over the Teleduv controls and a portal appeared before them, swirling black and larger than the ones Shiro was used to. He took a deep breath. There was no going back now. “Let’s go.”

They emerged in the center of Zarkon’s command system and Shiro’s breath caught in his throat. He’d been here before and every time something had gone wrong, every time he’d ended up being hurt or lost or taken- but not this time.

The command ship was powering up, the Galra cruisers turning to engage, but they all seemed slow, somehow unfocused as they searched for the cloaked Altean cruiser.

“Launch the mechas,” Shiro said. “Alpha squadron- focus on disabling the command ship. Delta squadron- guard the cruiser. Everyone else- offer support and take out enemy ships. Fire on my mark.”

The mechas were just faint shadows with their stealth cloaking engaged but Shiro could see each one of their three thousand ships on the holographic map before him, converging on the command ship and the Galra cruisers.

The rings at the edges of the command system were powering up their particle barrier, getting ready to trap them inside- but that didn’t matter. That would only prevent more ships coming to Zarkon’s aid.

“Open fire,” Shiro said and the space before him lit up with explosions. They were in the jaws of hell but Shiro wasn’t afraid, he was already dead.

The singing had stopped but the drums were still loud in his ears, all of their ears.

“Alchemists,” he heard Lotor say as if from a great distance away and looked over to see that the Alteans surrounding him had blue lightning cracking over their hands. “Now,” Lotor commanded and they pointed the lightning towards him, trapping him in a web of it. He staggered for a moment and then straightened, his hair flying wild around his face and his cloak fluttering around his legs as he channeled the flow.

“Fire the ion cannon,” Shiro ordered, “target the command ship.”

Something flew out of it, a figure wearing a metal suit. Shiro knew in his gut it was Zarkon, coming for them.

Lotor made a gesture with his hands and sent captured lightning shooting towards him, forcing him to stop dead in his tracks, trapped in space. Another wave of lighting, dark and crackling purple, shot out from the command ship to envelop Zarkon’s body- Haggar’s doing no doubt. The purple shot up past him, corrupting the blue beam that Lotor was sending their way until it hit him and he screamed, falling to one knee. The Altean lightning dissipated as he fought to catch his breath.

Zarkon was moving towards them again, ignoring the carnage around him to come straight for the Altean cruiser.

“Shiro!” Lotor called out desperately. “I need you- I need a conduit.”

“Yes,” he said, stumbling over to stand behind him. “What should I-?”

“Put your hands on my shoulders,” Lotor breathed out. “This will hurt.”

“I’m ready,” Shiro said.

“Alchemists- again,” Lotor ordered.

They summoned lightning again and it enveloped Lotor’s body. Shiro could smell ozone in the air and something like hot iron, like blood. It didn’t hurt, or at least not yet, but every inch of his body was tingling with an odd sensation like his skin was suddenly too tight.

Lotor gritted his teeth as he turned the lightning back on his father again. Haggar would fight him, she’d turn her Druid magic against him to protect Zarkon-

“Alpha squadron,” Shiro ordered, “take out the command ship’s hangar bay- make sure Haggar can’t engage.”

He couldn’t quite see the mecha suits while they were cloaked but he could see the carnage they left behind. The bottom of the command ship was wreathed in hellfire and Shiro turned his attention back to Zarkon, caught in the beam of blue lightning.

“Brace yourself,” Lotor gritted out and shifted, pulling his hand back sharply

Zarkon jerked, limbs spread wide, as the beam changed, not flowing into him but rather flowing out. Lotor was draining his quintessence.

And then it finally hit Shiro and he screamed at the hot agony of energy raging through him. He fell to his knees but he had just enough presence of mind to draw closer to Lotor kneeling before him, curling over him and wrapping his arms around his body to hold on as tight as he could.

He was painfully full of quintessence, it ripped through his body as Zarkon fought their assault. The dreamscape from before, from when he fought Zarkon for Black, flickered in and out of view around him. He groaned and closed his eyes, focusing only on Lotor in his arms.

The Altean Alchemists drew closer, somehow floating around them, and put their hands on Shiro’s brow, his shoulders.

He gasped in relief as he felt the quintessence draining out and through him, being pulled away as they channeled it into the ship.

Shiro felt like a landed fish as he fought to catch his breath, opening his eyes to see the quintessence flowing around them with perfect clarity. He could see the corruption draining out of Zarkon, leaving him frozen. The dark quintessence entered Lotor’s body but he transformed it somehow so when it flowed into Shiro it was pure and white. The Alchemists around him took that energy and refined it further, sinking it into the ship itself to power the ion cannon, the shields, the battery cells.

The ship felt _alive_ around him almost like the Lions did and Shiro felt like he could reach out and _touch_ it and it would purr for him, shift to embody his intent.

Lotor screamed and went limp in his arms, the energy stream cutting off at last. Shiro cradled him close, breathing hard as he stared at Zarkon floating dead in space.

“Delta squadron,” he said hoarsely, “take him out.”

They moved to engage and Shiro pressed his face against Lotor’s hair, breathing deeply.

“Open your eyes, love,” he whispered into Lotor’s ear.

Lotor groaned and shifted, waking slowly.

“Watch,” Shiro said, loosening his grip around him slightly.  “You’ve done it.”

Lotor reached back to hold him tightly by the thigh and they watched as the mechas turned on Zarkon, enveloping his suit in fire.

“All units,” Shiro ordered, “fire at will, drag them to hell. All of them.”

He kissed the side of Lotor’s face and shifted into a more comfortable position so they could watch the destruction of Zarkon’s fleet together.

There was an explosion at one of the rings and the particle barrier sputtered and fell, revealing the cruisers Zarkon had stationed outside.

Shiro couldn’t help smiling- _Voltron_ was there. They must have seen the battle on their long range sensors and come to join the fight, or whatever was left of it.

“Look,” Shiro whispered. “It’s over.”

“Not yet,” Lotor said and tensed, fighting to stand. Shiro stood with him, holding him by the arms to help him up and steady him.

“Open a channel,” Lotor said. “Broadcast on all frequencies.”

 

* * *

 

“We’re getting a strange signal,” Pidge said, adjusting her glasses.

“What is it?” Allura asked.

Keith just frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. It had been three weeks but he was still so angry at Shiro for leaving him, all of them. Things had been bad before but now they were even worse. They _needed_ Shiro with them, needed his tactical knowledge and his fighting prowess, needed him as the head of Voltron. Keith felt hopelessly second rate trying to fill his shoes, but Shiro had left him no choice but to do it and he was angry about that too.

“It’s- a battle,” Pidge said slowly. “Someone is attacking Zarkon’s central command.”

“Who?” Allura demanded.

“I don’t know. Almost- no one? They’re cloaked like the Blade ships. I don’t recognize these signatures.”

“This could be our chance,” Keith spoke up, hoping he wasn’t making a huge mistake. “If someone’s coming after Zarkon we have to help them.”

“Alright,” Allura said with a nod. “Coran- open a portal.”

As soon as they passed through, a mournful rhythmic drumming filled the bridge and Allura and Coran gasped.

“What is this?” Keith demanded.

“It’s an Altean funeral ship,” Coran whispered. “Or a- a warship, as you might say.”

“But how?” Allura breathed out.

But the particle barrier was up, shielding the center of Zarkon’s command from view.

“Let’s get to the Lions,” Keith said. “We’ll figure out the rest later.”

The next half hour or so was a blur of battle, and then the particle barrier fell and Keith couldn’t help gasping as he saw the glittering debris floating inside. There was nothing left, only rubble and faintly sparking pieces of machinery floating aimlessly. And through it all- nothing. He couldn’t see who had done this.

His console beeped; there was a transmission going out on all frequencies. Keith hit the panel to open the message on the main screen, eyes widening.

Lotor was standing front and center, his hair falling in loose waves just past his shoulders. He looked pale but overall he was healthy, way healthier than he should have been given the way he’d looked during the last broadcast just over three weeks ago.

 _Shiro_ was standing at his right shoulder, looking sternly into the camera. His hair was longer than should be possible, held back from his face by a circlet that bore Lotor’s orange and blue star.

“People of the Universe,” Lotor started, the sound of drums still ringing in the background. “I stand before you amidst the rubble of Zarkon’s armada. His reign is over and mine has begun. Come to me as friends to be treated as such. Come as foes to be destroyed.

“To the Galra still out there-“ he paused, frowning. “You may kneel, you may run, or you may die. Either way your lives are mine. I am coming for them.”

Shiro grinned darkly at Lotor’s shoulder and Keith couldn’t help the cold shiver that ran down his spine.

“End transmission,” Lotor said and the screen went dark.

  


_Fin_.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [barbitone](http://barbitone.tumblr.com/)


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